He was walking down the corridor toward the checker's office when a hand
clapped him on the shoulder. "Bless me if it isn't St. Simon the Silent!
Long time no, if you'll pardon the cliche, see!"
St. Simon turned, grinning. He had recognized the voice. "Hi, Kerry.
Good to see you."
"Good to see me? Forsooth! Od's bodkins! Hast turned liar on top of
everything else, Good Saint? Good to see me, indeed! 'From such a face
and form as mine, the noblest sentiments sound like the black utterances
of a depraved imagination.' No, dear old holy pillar-sitter, no indeed!
It may be a pleasure to hear my mellifluous voice--a pleasure I often
indulge in, myself--but it couldn't possibly be a pleasure to _see_ me!"
And all the while, St. Simon was being pummeled heartily on the
shoulder, while his hand was pumped as though the other man was
expecting to strike oil at any moment.
His assailant was not a handsome man. Years before, a rare, fast-moving
meteor had punched its way through his helmet and taken part of his face
with it. He had managed to get back to his ship and pump air in before
he lost consciousness. He had had to stay conscious, because the only
thing that held the air in his helmet had been his hand pressed over the
quarter-inch hole. Even so, the drop in pressure had done its damage.
The surgeons had done their best to repair the smashed face, but Kerry
Brand's face hadn't been much to look at to begin with. And the mottled
purple of the distended veins and capillaries did little to improve his
looks.
But his ruined face was a badge of honor, and Kerry Brand knew the fact
as well as anyone.
Like St. Simon, Captain Brand was a professional anchor-setter. Most of
the men who put in the necessary two years went on to better jobs after
they had the required space experience. But there were some who liked
the job and stuck with it. It was only these men--the real experts among
the anchor-setting fraternity--who rated the title of "Captain". They
were free-lancers who ran things pretty much their own way.
"Just going to the checker?" St. Simon asked.
Kerry Brand shook his head. "I've already checked in, old sanctus. And
I'll give you three and one-seventh guesses who got a blue ticket."
St. Simon said nothing, but he pointed a finger at Brand's chest.
"A mild surmise, but a true one," said Brand. "You are, indeed, gazing
upon Professor Kerry Brand, B.A., M.A., Ph.D.--that is to say, Borer of
Asteroids, Master of Anchors, and Planetoid-hauler De-luxe. No, no;
don't look sorry for me. _Some_body has to teach the tadpoles How To
Survive In Space If You're Not Too Stupid To Live--a subject upon which
I am an expert."
"On Being Too Stupid To Live?" St. Simon asked gently.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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