“Not at all, if one is careful. Listen to me, Naukrates: not to desire,
but to act in such a way that the opportunity offers itself; not to
love, but to cherish from a distance certain well-chosen women for whom
one feels one might have a taste in the long run, if chance and
circumstances combined to throw them into one’s arms; never to adorn a
woman with qualities one wants her to have, or with beauties of which
she makes a mystery, but always to take the insipid for granted in
order to be astonished by the exquisite. Is not this the best advice a
sage can give to lovers? They only have lived happily who, in the
course of their dear existences, have been wise enough occasionally to
reserve for themselves the priceless purity of unforeseen joys.”
The second course was drawing to a close. There had been pheasants,
attagas, a magnificent blue and red porphyris, and a swan with all its
feathers, the cooking of which had been spread over forty-eight hours
so as not to burn its wings. Upon curved plates one saw phlexids,
pelicans, a white peacock which seemed to be sitting on a dozen and a
half of roast and stuffed spermologues; in a word, enough food to feed
a hundred persons on the fragments left behind after the choice pieces
had been set aside. But all this was nothing compared with the last
dish.
This chef-d’œuvre (such a work of art had not been seen for many a long
day at Alexandria) was a young pig, of which one half had been roasted
and the other boiled. It was impossible to distinguish the wound which
had provoked its death, or by what means its belly had been stuffed
with everything it contained. It was stuffed with round quails, chicken
breasts, field-larks, succulent sauces, and slices of vulva and
mince-meat. The presence of all these things in an animal apparently
intact seemed inexplicable.
The guests uttered an unanimous cry of admiration, and Faustina asked
for the recipe. Phrasilas smilingly delivered himself of sententious
metaphorical maxims; Philodemos improvised a distich in which the word
χοῖρος was taken alternately in both senses. This made Seso, already
drunk, laugh till the tears flowed, but Bacchis having given the order
to pour seven rare wines into seven cups for the use of each guest, the
conversation strayed.
Timon turned to Bacchis:
“Why,” he asked, “should you have been so hard on the poor girl I
wanted to bring with me? She was a colleague, nevertheless. If I were
in your place, I should respect a poor courtesan more highly than a
rich matron.”
“You are mad,” said Bacchis, without discussing the question.
“Yes, I have often noticed that those who, once in a way, venture to
utter striking truths, are taken for lunatics. Paradoxes find everybody
agreed.”
“Nonsense, my friend; ask your neighbours, where is the man of birth
who would choose a girl without jewels as his mistress.”
“I have done it,” said Philodemos with simplicity.
And the women despised him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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