Some o’er thy Thamis row the ribboned fair, Others along the safer turnpike fly; Some Richmond-hill ascend, some wend to Ware, And many to the steep of Highgate hie. Ask ye, Bœotian shades! the reason why? ’_Tis to the worship of the solemn horn_, _Grasped in the holy hand of mystery_, _In whose dread name both men and maids _{189}_ are sworn_, _And consecrate the oath with draught_, _and dance till morn_. Canto I, stanza 70.] _Enter_ LANDLORD, _dressed in a black gown and bands_, _and wearing an antique-fashioned wig_, _followed by the_ CLERK OF THE COURT, _also in appropriate costume_, _and carrying the registry-book and the horns_. _Landlord_. DO you wish to be sworn at Highgate? _Candidate_. I do, Father. _Clerk_. _Amen_. _The_ LANDLORD _then sings_, _or says_, _as follows_:— Silence! O, yes! you are my son! Full to your old father turn, sir; This is an oath you may take as you run, So lay your hand thus on the horn, sir. _Here the_ CANDIDATE _places his right hand on the horn_. You shall spend not with cheaters or cozeners your life, Nor waste it on profligate beauty; And when you are wedded be kind to your wife, And true to all petticoat duty. _The_ CANDIDATE _says_ ‘_I will_,’ _and kisses the horn in obedience to the command of the_ CLERK, _who exclaims in a loud and solemn tone_, ‘_Kiss the horn_, _sir_!’ And while you thus solemnly swear to be kind, And shield and protect from disaster, This part of your oath you must bear it in mind, That you, and not she, is the master. _Clerk_. ‘_Kiss the horn_, _sir_!’ You shall pledge no man first when a woman is near, For neither ’tis proper nor right, sir; Nor, unless you prefer it, drink small for strong beer, Nor eat brown bread when you can get white, sir. _Clerk_. ‘_Kiss the horn_, _sir_!’ You shall never drink brandy when wine you can get, Say when good port or sherry is handy; Unless that your taste on spirit is set, In which case—you _may_, sir, drink brandy! _Clerk_. ‘_Kiss the horn_, _sir_!’ To kiss with the maid when the mistress is kind, Remember that you must be loth, sir; But if the maid’s fairest, your oath doesn’t bind,— Or you may, if you like it, kiss both, sir! _Clerk_. ‘_Kiss the horn_, _sir_!’ Should you ever return, take this oath here again, Like a man of good sense, leal and true, sir; And be sure to bring with you some more merry men, That they on the horn may swear too, sir. _Landlord_. Now, sir, if you please, sign your name in that book, and if you can’t write, make your mark, and the clerk of the court will attest it. _Here one of the above requests is complied with_. _Landlord_. You will please pay half-a-crown for court fees, and what you please to the clerk.