Produced by Tom Weiss AND EVEN NOW By Max Beerbohm TO MY WIFE I offer here some of the essays that I have written in the course of the past ten years. While I was collecting them and (quite patiently) reading them again, I found that a few of them were in direct reference to the moments at which they were severally composed. It was clear that these must have their dates affixed to them. And for sake of uniformity I have dated all the others, and, doing so, have thought I need not exclude all such topical remarks as in them too were uttered, nor throw into a past tense such of those remarks as I have retained. Perhaps a book of essays ought to seem as if it had been written a few days before publication. On the other hand--but this is a Note, not a Preface. M.B. Rapallo, 1920. CONTENTS A RELIC (1918) ‘HOW SHALL I WORD IT?’ (1910) MOBLED KING (1911) KOLNIYATSCH (1913) NO. 2. THE PINES (1914) A LETTER THAT WAS NOT WRITTEN (1914) BOOKS WITHIN BOOKS (1914) THE GOLDEN DRUGGET (1918) HOSTS AND GUESTS (1918) A POINT TO BE REMEMBERED (1918) SERVANTS (1918) GOING OUT FOR A WALK (1918) QUIA IMPERFECTUM (1918) SOMETHING DEFEASIBLE (1919) ‘A CLERGYMAN’ (1918) THE CRIME (1920) IN HOMES UNBLEST (1919) WILLIAM AND MARY (1920) ON SPEAKING FRENCH (1919) LAUGHTER (1920) A RELIC 1918. Yesterday I found in a cupboard an old, small, battered portmanteau which, by the initials on it, I recognised as my own property. The lock appeared to have been forced. I dimly remembered having forced it myself, with a poker, in my hot youth, after some journey in which I had lost the key; and this act of violence was probably the reason why the trunk had so long ago ceased to travel. I unstrapped it, not without dust; it exhaled the faint scent of its long closure; it contained a tweed suit of Late Victorian pattern, some bills, some letters, a collar-stud, and--something which, after I had wondered for a moment or two what on earth it was, caused me suddenly to murmur, ‘Down below, the sea rustled to and fro over the shingle.’ Strange that these words had, year after long year, been existing in some obscure cell at the back of my brain!--forgotten but all the while existing, like the trunk in that cupboard. What released them, what threw open the cell door, was nothing but the fragment of a fan; just the butt-end of an inexpensive fan. The sticks are of white bone, clipped together with a semicircular ring that is not silver. They are neatly oval at the base, but variously jagged at the other end. The longest of them measures perhaps two inches. Ring and all, they have no market value; for a farthing is the least coin in our currency. And yet, though I had so long forgotten them, for me they are not worthless. They touch a chord... Lest this confession raise false hopes in the reader, I add that I did not know their owner.