* * * * * I then introduced Bag Ears to my new bride. "This is Joy. I am certainly a lucky man, Bag Ears. Isn't she the most beautiful thing you ever saw?" Bag Ears was of course impressed. "Golly, what gams!" he breathed. His eyes traveled upward and he said, "Golly, what--what things and stuff." He came finally to her face. "Baby, you got it!" Joy was rocked back on her heels. Caught unawares by the open admiration in his eyes, she whispered, "Oh, my ancient step-ins!" But she rallied like a thoroughbred and gave Bag Ears a dazzling smile. "I'm delighted, Mr. Mulligan. Homer's friends are my friends--I think--and I'm sure everything will turn out all right." Bag Ears said, "Lady--leave us not be formal. Just call me Bag Ears." "Of course--Bag Ears--leave us be chummy." He now turned his remarks to me and evinced even more intense admiration for my bride. "She reminds me of a fast lightweight--the most beautiful sight in the world." "Let us repair to the conservatory," I said, "where we can have a quiet chat." I said this because I felt that some of the other guests might not be as tactful as Joy and might make Bag Ears feel uncomfortable. Aunt Gretchen had rudely vanished without waiting for an introduction and the actions of the hostess often set the pattern for those of the guests. As we moved toward the rear of the house, Joy took my arm and said, "Speaking of being stripped down for action--what do you suppose happened to Uncle Peter? I haven't seen him around anywhere." "He gave his word, so I'm sure he'll come." "That's what I'm afraid of." "I don't understand." "I don't quite understand myself, but I feel uneasy. I remember the calculating look in his eye when he suddenly agreed to honor us with his presence. There was something too eager about that look. And his asking whether any of your friends would be here." "Uncle Peter is basically a good follow. I think he envies me my wide contacts." "Maybe." "If he seemed a trifle peculiar, you must remember that he is a scientist. Even now he is engaged in some important project--some experiment--" "I know--we met her." "Joy! Please!" "--but I wouldn't think he'd have to experiment at his age. I'd think--" I put my hand firmly over her mouth. "Darling--we have a guest--Bag Ears--" "Oh, of course." Safely hidden behind a bank of tropical grass, I took Joy in my arms and kissed her. Bag Ears obligingly looked in the other direction. But Joy didn't quite get her heart into it. She seemed preoccupied--I might almost say, bewildered. "Bag Ears," she whispered to no one in particular, "and what did you say the lady's name was? Oh--I remember--Red Nose Tessie." She pondered for a moment and then smiled up at me dreamily. "Darling--I never realized what a versatile person you are--" Bag Ears perked up. "Verseetile? You ain't just a hootin', babe. And _tough_. You should see his right." I strove to quiet him down. "Never mind, Bag Ears--"