The clerk went out, puzzled. Judge Helms took off his pince-nez and
regarded the spectacle of Hector Civek in ermine.
"What is all this, Hector?" he asked. "You weren't serious about that
king business, were you? Nice to see you back safe, by the way."
"We would prefer to be addressed the first time as Your Majesty, Judge,"
Civek said. "After that you can call us sir."
"Us?" the judge asked. "Somebody with you?"
"The royal 'we,'" Civek said. "I see I'll have to issue a proclamation
on the proper forms of address. I mean, _we'll_ have to. Takes a bit of
getting used to, doesn't it?"
"Quite a bit," the judge agreed. "But right now, if you don't mind, this
court is in session and has a case before it. Suppose you make your
royal self comfortable and we'll get on with it--as soon as my clerk is
back from attending to the royal horses."
The clerk returned and whispered in the judge's ear. Helms looked at
Civek and shook his head. "Six of them, eh? I'll have a look later.
Right now we've got a bank robbery case on the calendar."
Vincent Grande talked and Jerry Lynch talked and Judge Helms listened
and looked up statutes and pursed his lips thoughtfully. Joe Negus
cleaned his nails. Hank Stacy bit his.
Finally the judge said, "I hate to admit this, but I'm afraid I must
agree with you, counselor. The alleged crime contravened no local
statute, and in the absence of a representative of the Federal
Government I must regretfully dismiss the charges."
Joe Negus promptly got up and began to walk out.
"Just a minute there, varlet!"
It was Hector Civek doing his king bit.
Negus, who probably had been called everything else in his life, paused
and looked over his shoulder.
"Approach!" Civek thundered.
"Nuts, Your Kingship," Negus said. "Nobody stops me now." But before he
got to the door something stopped him in mid-stride.
Civek had pointed his scepter at Negus in that instant. Negus, stiff as
a stop-action photograph, toppled to the floor.
"Now," Civek said, motioning to Judge Helms to vacate the bench, "we'll
dispense some royal justice."
He sat down, arranging his robes and shifting his heavy crown. "Mr.
Counselor Lynch, we take it you represent the defendants?"
"Yes, Your Majesty," said the lawyer, an adaptable man. "What happened
to Negus, sir? Is he dead?"
"He could have been, if we'd given him another notch. No, he's just
suspended. Let him be an example to anyone else who might incur our
royal wrath. Now, counselor, we are familiar enough with the case to
render an impartial verdict. We find the defendants guilty of bank
robbery."
"But Your Majesty," Lynch said, "bank robbery is not a crime under the
laws of Superior. I submit that there has been no crime--inasmuch as the
incident occurred after Superior became detached from Earth, and
therefore from its laws."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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