MEGAERA. In everything. In making me a slave, and making yourself a laughing-stock. Its not fair. You get me the name of being a shrew with your meek ways, always talking as if butter wouldn’t melt in your mouth. And just because I look a big strong woman, and because I’m good-hearted and a bit hasty, and because you’re always driving me to do things I’m sorry for afterwards, people say “Poor man: what a life his wife leads him!” Oh, if they only knew! And you think I don’t know. But I do, I do, (_screaming_) I do. ANDROCLES. Yes, my dear: I know you do. MEGAERA. Then why don’t you treat me properly and be a good husband to me? ANDROCLES. What can I do, my dear? MEGAERA. What can you do! You can return to your duty, and come back to your home and your friends, and sacrifice to the gods as all respectable people do, instead of having us hunted out of house and home for being dirty, disreputable, blaspheming atheists. ANDROCLES. I’m not an atheist, dear: I am a Christian. MEGAERA. Well, isn’t that the same thing, only ten times worse? Everybody knows that the Christians are the very lowest of the low. ANDROCLES. Just like us, dear. MEGAERA. Speak for yourself. Don’t you dare to compare me to common people. My father owned his own public-house; and sorrowful was the day for me when you first came drinking in our bar. ANDROCLES. I confess I was addicted to it, dear. But I gave it up when I became a Christian. MEGAERA. You’d much better have remained a drunkard. I can forgive a man being addicted to drink: its only natural; and I don’t deny I like a drop myself sometimes. What I can’t stand is your being addicted to Christianity. And what’s worse again, your being addicted to animals. How is any woman to keep her house clean when you bring in every stray cat and lost cur and lame duck in the whole countryside? You took the bread out of my mouth to feed them: you know you did: don’t attempt to deny it. ANDROCLES. Only when they were hungry and you were getting too stout, dearie. MEGAERA. Yes, insult me, do. (_Rising_) Oh! I won’t bear it another moment. You used to sit and talk to those dumb brute beasts for hours, when you hadn’t a word for me. ANDROCLES. They never answered back, darling. (_He rises and again shoulders the bundle_). MEGAERA. Well, if you’re fonder of animals than of your own wife, you can live with them here in the jungle. I’ve had enough of them and enough of you. I’m going back. I’m going home. ANDROCLES. (_barring the way back_) No, dearie: don’t take on like that. We can’t go back. We’ve sold everything: we should starve; and I should be sent to Rome and thrown to the lions— MEGAERA. Serve you right! I wish the lions joy of you. (_Screaming_) Are you going to get out of my way and let me go home? ANDROCLES. No, dear—