As he stepped on deck he met the officer of the watch. He saluted him and said, timidly: “I beg your pardon, sir, I’ve come to see my son Jack, but, ’pon my word, I didn’t mean to ring so loud.” STEPPED ON IT A certain Staffordshire regiment had a very small band; but the commanding officer’s feet were—well, rather broad. One day the regiment was to march out on parade, but the music was not forthcoming. “Where on earth is the band?” queried the adjutant. For some time there was no reply; but when the question was repeated, a gruff voice from the rear rank said: “I believe, sor, the colonel trod on it be accident!” KING ALBERT’S CHIVALRY Calls Husband to His Wife from Trenches A young Parisian lady, newly married to a French artillery officer who had fought through the battles of the Marne and the Aisne and is now at the Front in Flanders, determined to see her husband at all costs. She left Paris for Dunkirk and tried vainly at the French headquarters to secure a pass. She was, however, not beaten. She travelled in a peasant’s country cart and with many delays to the Belgian headquarters. Taking her courage in both hands, she explained her mission, gained access to the officers of the headquarters staff, and put forward her request. The officers received her with great politeness, listened to her story sympathetically, and told her gently that what she asked was impossible. Just at that moment a tall young officer who had been intently studying a map turned to the lady. “Madame,” he said, “you shall see your husband.” Then he spoke for a few moments through the telephone, and, turning again to the young wife, said, “If you will wait a little while, your husband will come to you.” With tears streaming down her cheeks she seized his hands and thanked him warmly for his kindness. Two hours later there was a joyous meeting between the lady and her husband, who had been bewildered by his sudden recall from the trenches in the midst of a battle. His wife explained how it had all come about, and described the officer through whose kindness the meeting had been made possible. “That was King Albert,” said her husband. FULLY QUALIFIED Quite recently a man appeared at the recruiting offices in Newcastle and stated to the officer in charge that he wished to enlist into His Majesty’s Army. “Well, my man, what regiment do you prefer to join?” asked the officer. “Well,” replied the recruit, “I should like to join the cavalry.” “Cavalry,” repeated the head of the recruiting department. “All right, my man, do you know anything about horses?” “Do I know anything about horses?” replied the would-be recruit, seriously. “Why, I backed a winner and two seconds yesterday!” A FINE SIGHT FOR THE HUNGRY The men of a certain regiment had made some complaints respecting the scarcity of food, but the colonel, a strong believer in the go-away-from-the-table-hungry maxim, saw no grounds for increasing the supply.