A few Sundays ago Bobby’s mother was hurrying him to get ready for Sunday-school. Bobby (aged seven), not being very fond of Sunday-school, was grumbling all the time about schools in general and Sunday-schools in particular. Finally, to give vent to his feelings, he exclaimed:— “I wish there was only one Sunday-school in the world, and that—er—that one was in Germany.” PEACE SUGGESTION Ernest P. Bicknell, national director of the American Red Cross, said on his return from Belgium to a Washington reporter: “If peace is to come, each side must do its share. Advances must be made like the girl, you know. “A young millionaire said to a beautiful girl on a moonlit beach between two dances: “‘Don’t you like that Shakespearean quotation: “‘“The friends thou hast and their adoption tried, Grapple them to they soul with hoops of steel”?’ “The girl sighed. “‘Beautiful,’ she said. ‘Beautiful. But wouldn’t hoops of gold be better?’” HEADING HIM OFF An absentee soldier at West London police court complained that he had not been able to get a decent dinner at the police station and that he was hungry. “Well, I like to show consideration to men serving their country,” said the magistrate. “Would you like something now?” “Yes, I could do with tea and bread and butter,” the soldier answered. “All right,” said the magistrate, but the soldier amended his request. “Can I have tea, bread and butter and cheese?” he asked. “Oh, yes,” said the magistrate, laughing, “but take him away, jailer, before he asks for champagne and oysters.” CAPTURED, NOT STOLEN A British soldier in Belgium was one morning wending his way to camp with a fine rooster in his arms when he was stopped by his colonel to know if he had been stealing chickens. “No, colonel,” was the reply, “I saw the old fellow sitting on the wall and I ordered him to crow for England, and he wouldn’t, so I just took him prisoner.” LANDED A LARGE ORDER A Herculean soldier, arriving at Liverpool by rail, somewhat travel-stained, was passing along Lime Street when he stopped and called on a street arab to shine his boots. His feet were in proportion to his height, and, looking at the tremendous boots before him, the arab knelt down on the pavement and, hailing a companion near by, exclaimed:— “Billie, come o’er and gie’s a hand; I’ve got an army contract.” WELCOME RELIEF A chap had just gone to Flanders from the training camp in Devon, and his calmness and cheerfulness under German fire impressed everyone. So much so, in fact, that his corporal declared: “I never saw a new hand settle right down to it like George.” “Oh,” said another recruit, “if you knew George’s wife, corporal, you’d understand how the poor fellow enjoys a quiet day among the vitriol sprays and poison bombs.” THE USUAL QUERY An English school inspector, who did not look beyond military age, got a Roland for his Oliver the other day. He invited a class he was examining to put questions to him.