Of England's state to learn and exercise. For him a well-experienced Don was found, Whose quick-turn'd eyes foresaw each quibble quaint, And quirk evasive. As an osier light, That bending yields to ev'ry blast of wind, His heart to fraud was flexible,--his heart, Where dark Deceit, in honest guise array'd, Had sown its seeds, and poison'd ev'ry grain Which, warm'd by potent Truth's congenial ray, With Virtue's plenteous harvest might have teem'd. But fruitless was the youth's parental aim, Tho' sedulous. For scarce two years had roll'd Since fair Augusta first had bless'd his eyes, When great Bronzoides first soliloquiz'd: 'Was it for this, that o'er the classic deep I sail'd, and landed on poetic shores? Have I for this flew round the Aonian mount With plumes immortal, and so often play'd With spotless Muses, in Pierian meads? Am I, ye Gods, eternally to scribe Inglorious? No--Some power uplifts my soul, Buoyant, above the common class of earth's Dull reptiles. Hence, ye wrong-adjudg'd Reports; Ye dry collections, hence. I leave ye all To those grave, solid-looking fools, whose ears Tautology best charms. Oh! Shakspeare, come With all thy pupils. Fire my glowing breast, Expand my genius, and enlarge my soul.' Kindled that instant at the raptur'd thought, His intellects, high tow'ring flew to realms Dramatic. There the storehouse of his brain He fill'd redundant. Here he tries his skill Theatric, ere upon the graceful stage With steps adventurous he dares to tread. So children dabble in the shallow stream Playful, till fear forsakes their little souls; Then bold they rush into the middle Thames. 'List, list, O list'--Oh! how his tuneful voice Rises and falls, as Oysterella's soft And strong, when ev'ry street and curving lane Adjacent echo the testaceous cry. He spouted--and receiv'd his share of praise. Inflated with the swellings of conceit, And newly flush'd with large-aspiring hopes Of excellence, uprises Leatheronzo Fam'd. In repairing worn-out calcuments None was his equal. No one better knew The pointed awl to handle. Yet his breast With rage dramatic glow'd. In mad-struck Lear The scene he opens: but for want of crown Paus'd his mock-majesty. Around the place Long time his eyes terrific roll'd. At length 'In a black corner of the room he spied' An empty urinal--Fir'd at the sight, He snatch'd the vacuum, and to his head Adapted it well pleas'd. Now, now he raves With brazen lungs, until a sudden jerk His action terminates. Upon the floor Down drops the jordan. As it rolls along It rings applause unto his list'ning ear. Lo! now springs forward with elastic step, A son of Comedy, Soccado call'd.