"Elaborately have both antients and moderns expressed themselves concerning the brain, the pineal gland, ideas, and cogitations, by which the head, or the animal spirits of the head, properly trammeled, might pace in good order. "But the only persons who can properly be of benefit to heads, are periwig-makers, and Doctor Monro, Physician to Moorfields Hospital. "Wigs are as essential to every person's head, as lace is to their clothes; and although understanding may be deficient in the wearer as well as money, yet people dressed out look pretty; and very fine gentlemen thus embellished represent those pots upon Apothecaries' shelves which are much ornament, but always stand empty. "Behold a Barber's block unadorned: can we conceive any higher idea of it, than that of a bruiser just preparing to set to? Indeed, with a foliage round the temples, it might serve in an Auction-room for the bust of a Cæsar; and, provided it was properly worm-eaten, would be bid for accordingly. But of that hereafter: our business now is to shew the consequence of Wigs. "_Imprimis._ "The 'Prentice Minor-bob, or Hair-cap; this is always short in the neck, to show the stone Stock-buckle, and nicely stroaked from the face, to discover seven-eighths of the ears; and every Smart we meet so headed seems, like Tristram Shandy, to have been skaiting against the wind; and his hair, by the sharpness of the motion, shorn from his face. "Next the Citizen's Sunday Buckle, or Bob-major; this is a first-rate, bearing several tiers of curls, disposed in upper, middle, and lower order. "Then the Apothecary's Bush, in which the Hat seems sinking like a stone into a snow heap. "The Physical and Chirurgical Ties carry much consequence in their foretops; and the depending knots fall fore and aft the shoulders, with _secundum artem_ dignity. "The Scratch, or the Blood's Skull-covering, is combed over the forehead, untoupeed, to imitate a head of hair, because those gentlemen love to have every thing natural about them. "The Jehu's Jemmy, or White and all white, in little curls, like a fine fleece on a lamb's back, we should say something upon, were it not for fear of offending some gentlemen of great riches, who love to look like coachmen. "_Third Chapter. Frocks, Coats, Surtouts, and Walking-sticks._ "Every gentleman now, by the length of his skirts, seems Dutch-waisted, or like a Bridewell-boy, with a garment down to mid-leg; and they are so much splashed sometimes behind, that I have, when following in a dirty day one of those very fashionable frock-wearers, been tempted to call out--'Pray, dear Sir, pin up your petticoats.'