"Oh!--Personal Liberty!... The Cult of the Ego, perhaps you might call
it. But, of course, for all I know," said the light masterful Charles,
"that is the Movement, and always has been. Only last week I lighted on
a new formula--sort of a definition--to-morrow I'll probably discard it
for another. It's very unsettling--for my writing, you know. By the
way--can't you help me out a little? What would be your best definition
of the Unrest--for literary purposes?"
But Mary, with a carefulness not usual to her, eluded controversy,
merely saying it all depended on how you looked at it, or words to that
effect. And then she gave him a small thrill by neatly taking his bait.
"But what is your new definition?"
"Oh, that! Definition's too grand a word, of course. I merely wondered
if what is called the Woman's Movement was anything more than a
projection--don't you know?--of an everlasting struggle going on between
two irreconcilable elements in every woman's nature."
The car rolled in silence.
"There's a pessimistic definition for you! For I suppose," said the
friend of women, and could no longer keep the seriousness out of his
voice, "it must be true that every struggle implies the defeat--of
something.... Doesn't it? I suppose we can really never get away from
the sad discovery of childhood, that we can't eat our cake and have it
too."
"That's interesting! But I don't believe I understand you altogether.
What do you symbolize as the cake?"
She, the strong and successful, had turned on him her level arched gaze,
intent with its habitual interrogativeness. It was instantly clear that,
though she might be struck with his few remarks, she was far indeed from
being struck personally. And her sudden characteristic look was to him
like a hand held up, the banner of her independence flung out--and just
in time, too.
Charles laughed mirthlessly. He was aware of the lameness of his reply.
"Exactly!--what? It all depends on how you look at it, as you just said.
And I seem unable to look at it the same way two days running.... Number
6 Olive Street, Eustace."
Mary's response escaped him.
He sat staring through the glass, at the passing sights, a curious sense
of anti-climax within, a strange flat feeling of failure. He was like a
boy who, having run valiantly at a jump, tamely subsides and ducks under
the string. What then? Had he really been about to court a new
humiliation by _lecturing_ Mary Wing? Telling himself that he came
generously to warn her about Donald, had he actually been thinking that
he would discuss the personal losses involved in Leaving Home?--perhaps
by some frankness even bridge the gap in the old friendship? It really
did seem that some such thoughts must have lurked in his mind, judging
by this sense within him now.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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