Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Single mothers -- Fiction; Social classes -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
It didn’t take her long to see how it was with him. She understood that
sort of thing so well! She saw how drawn he was to her, how she stirred
his ardent blood; and she rejoiced and brought out all her tricks to
torment him. When she wanted something explained, she would bring her
book to him and stand beside him, leaning against him, bending over so
that her hair brushed his cheek. She had attitudes that were poems of
allurement; there were certain tones in her voice, certain little
gestures, which she saw enthralled and disturbed and shocked him.
"She doesn’t know what she’s doing!" he would think.
Well, she didn’t exactly. She was well enough aware of the effect of her
naughty wiles upon him, and upon other men; but she had never
experienced the thing herself, never yet been transfixed by a dart such
as she delighted to shoot. At first she was proud and gleeful; but after
she had seen his painful effort to retain his dignity--his majesty, one
might say--undisturbed, she felt a sort of respectful pity for him, and
desisted.
She had no illusions; she didn’t fancy that his inclination toward her
was love; she never dreamed of marrying him, and she understood him and
herself too well even to contemplate any other sort of alliance. She
ceased her tricks, became honest and sober with him, and sat at his feet
to learn what she could. The knowledge that she was desirable in his
eyes did good to Angelica, for it gave her more confidence, more hope of
attaining ultimate magnificence. She showed him her natural self,
inquisitive, eager, strong, ready for any sacrifice, any denial, that
might help her in her progress, a nature at once ardent and calculating,
a cool, shrewd, subtle Italian mind.
As for herself, she wasn’t in the slightest degree attracted by Eddie.
She admired him and respected him, she felt a warm friendliness toward
him, but no smallest trace of love or desire. It wasn’t possible; he
wasn’t the man for her; he wasn’t her sort.
In contrast, and running parallel with this life of effort and progress
under Eddie’s direction, ran the other existence, the lazy, soft life of
the harem. One-half of her time she was studying, reflecting, earnestly
considering her manners and deportment; the other half she spent with
Mrs. Russell and Polly, in a thoroughly demoralizing uselessness.
Laziness was Polly’s darling vice. She had long passed the stage of
struggling against it; now she hugged it, enjoyed it without shame. She
lay in bed, in a chaise-longue, or on a sofa, hour after hour, smoking
cigarettes, lost in her sorrowful reveries. Where on earth was she to
find an incentive to activity? There was no one whom she might love and
serve; no effort was necessary to obtain all the luxuries possible. Her
old love of her art lay buried beneath her grief; she felt that she had
all that she could ever expect in life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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