"You’ve been believing what I said. But I’m not through yet. I’ve been
in a dark room fasting and praying for a month to overcome my evil
inclination not to speak the truth, and I finally conquered, so I’m
going to tell the whole thing. Joe, Ann Boyd is the best woman God ever
let live. She was as true as steel to you from the day she married till
now. I have been after her day and night, never giving her a moment’s
rest from my persecutions, and how do you reckon she retaliated? She
paid me back by actually saving my worthless life and trying to keep me
from knowing who did it. She did something else. She did me the greatest
favor one woman could possibly do another. I don’t intend to say what
that particular thing was, but she must have the credit. Now I’m
through. I’m going back home."
Boyd drew his ill-clad feet towards him. He spread out his two arms wide
and held them so, steadily. "Look at me—just look at me," he said.
"Woman, before you go back, take one good look at me. You come to me—a
mere frazil of what I once was—when there is no hope of ever regaining
my youth and self-respect—and tell me—oh, my God!—tell me that I
believed _you_ instead of _her_! She said, with tears in her eyes, on
her knees before me, that that first mistake was all, and I told her she
lied _in her throat_, and left her, dragging from her clinging arms the
child of her breast, bringing it up and raising it to what you see she
is. And now you come literally peeping into my open coffin and telling
_this_ to my dead face. Great God, woman, before Heaven I feel like
striking you where you set, soaked in repentance though you are. All
these misspent years I’ve been your cowardly tool, and her—her—"
"I deserve it—talk on!" Jane Hemingway said, as she rose and clutched
her carpet-bag and held it tremblingly.
But Joe Boyd’s innate gentleness had been one of the qualities many
women loved, and even before the cowering creature who had wrecked his
life he melted in manly pity.
"No," he said, stretching out his hand with something like one of his
old gestures—"no, I’m going too far, Jane. We are all obedient to
natural laws, as Ann used to say. Your laws have made you do just as you
have, and so have mine. Away back there in the joy-time of youth my laws
made me say too much to you. As you say, I planted the seed. I did; I
planted the seed that bore all the fruit; I planted it when I kissed
you, Jane, and said them things to you that night which I forgot the
next day. Ann could have made something out of me better than this. As
long as I had her to manage me, I did well. You see what I am now."
"Yes, I see; and I’m as sorry as I know how to be." Jane sighed as she
passed out into the open sunlight. "I’m going home, Joe. I may never lay
eyes on you again in this life. If you can say anything to make me feel
better, I’d be thankful."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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