My hand and heart, madam, are everlastingly yours: and it is because
this heart yearns to set the world an example, higher infinitely than
that which you propose, that thus I plead!--This opportunity is my
first and last--I read my doom--Bear with me therefore while I declare
my sensations and my thoughts.--The passion I feel is as unlike what is
usually meant by love as day to night, grace to deformity, or truth to
falsehood. It is not your fine form, madam, supremely beautiful though
you are, which I love. At least I love it only as an excellent part of
a divine whole. It is your other, your better, your more heavenly self,
to which I have dared to aspire. I claim relationship to your mind; and
again declare I think my claims have a right, which none of the false
distinctions of men can supersede. Think then, madam, again I conjure
you, think ere you decide.--If the union of two people whose pure love,
founded on an unerring conviction of mutual worth, might promise the
reality of that heaven of which the world delights to dream; whose
souls, both burning with the same ardour to attain and to diffuse
excellence, would mingle and act with incessant energy, who, having
risen superior to the mistakes of mankind, would disseminate the same
spirit of truth, the same internal peace, the same happiness, the same
virtues which they themselves possess among thousands; who would
admire, animate, emulate each other; whose wishes, efforts, and
principles would all combine to one great end, the general good; who,
being desirous only to dispense blessings, could not fail to enjoy; if
a union like this be not strictly conformable to the laws of eternal
truth, or if there be any arguments, any perils, any terrors which
ought to annul such a union, I confess that the arguments, the perils,
the terrors, and eternal truth itself are equally unknown to me.
We paused for a moment. The beauty, force, and grandeur of the picture
he had drawn staggered me. Yet it was but a repetition of what had
frequently presented itself to my mind, in colours almost as vivid as
those with which he painted. I had but one answer, and replied--
The world!--My family!--My father!--I cannot encounter the malediction
of a father!--What! Behold him in an agony of cursing his
child?--Imagination shudders and shrinks from the guilty picture with
horror!--I cannot!--I cannot!--It must not be!--To foresee this misery
so clearly as I do, and yet to seek it, would surely be detestable
guilt!
Again we paused--He perceived my terrors were too violent to cede to
any efforts of supposed reason. His countenance changed; the energy of
argument disappeared, and was succeeded by all the tenderness of
passion. The decisive moment, the moment of trial was come. His
features softened into that form which never yet failed to melt the
heart, and he thus continued.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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