But I have a bin ponderaitin on all these thinks, and sooth an trooth
to say, your onnur, I doubt as how the bitt [I mean the kole, your
onnur] witch your noble onnur has a bin pleesd to stipilate and lay by
for these here improvements [And glorious improvements they will be,
let me tell your onnur. I think I knows a sumthink of the matter; thos
to be sure I must a say as how I am no more nur a chit, a kintlin, to
your onnur, in matters of taste and the grande goosto, and all a that
there; but I'll give your onnur my two ears if there be any think at
all komparissuble or parallel to it in all England.] But as I wus a
sayin to your noble onnur--I am afeard we shall want cash; and I am a
sure that would be a ten m of pitties. Especially if your onnur thinks
any think more of the vister, with another church steepil in
prospekshun. And to be sure it was a noble thoft; I must say it would
be a sin and a shame to let sitch an elegunt ideer a slip through your
fingurs. And then, pardn me your onnur, but for what, and for why, and
for wherefore?
Besides all witch, your onnur wus a menshinnin a willdurness, and a
hermmutidge, and a grotto; all witch as your onnur said would conceal
the dead flat anenst the 3 old okes. And would your onnur think of
stoppin short, after havin a done all that your onnur has a done, to
bring Wenbourne Hill into vogue an reppitaishun, and make it the talk
of the hole kuntree? Nay, for the matter of that, it is a that already;
that I must say. But then, as your onnur says, in answer, nothink is
done till every think is done.
And so I have paradventerd umbelly to speak my foolish thofts, on this
here business. For why? I knows a what your onnur will say. Your onnur
will tell me, when your onnur comes back. Ay, honest Aby, I wish the
shiners' that I a spent and a bamboozild in that there France had a bin
strewed over these here grounds. For, over and above of what I a bin a
menshinnin to your onnur, there is the tempel beside a the new
plantation, of a witch your onnur has so long a bin talkin of a buildin
of. And then there is the extenshun and ogmenshun of the new ruins. So
that all together, I must say that if simple honest Aby might
paradventer to put in my oar to so generous and so noble a gentleman,
and moreover won of his majesty's baronets, why I would keep the money
now I had a got it; since, as your onnur finds, money is not so easy to
be a come at. Pray your onnur, I beesiege your onnur don't forget that;
money is not so easy to be a come at.
And so I most umbelly rimmane, with the blessin of almighty mercifool
praise, your onnur's most umbel and most obedient, very faithfool and
very thankfool, kind sarvent to command,
ABIMELECH HENLEY
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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