STRAMMFEST [chuckling]. I should accuse you of treason to the Revolution, my lad; and they would immediately shoot you, unless you cried and asked to see your mother before you died, when they would probably change their minds and make you a brigadier. Enough. [He rises and expands his chest.] I feel the better for letting myself go. To business. [He takes up a telegram: opens it: and is thunderstruck by its contents.] Great heaven! [He collapses into his chair.] This is the worst blow of all. SCHNEIDEKIND. What has happened? Are we beaten? STRAMMFEST. Man, do you think that a mere defeat could strike me down as this news does: I, who have been defeated thirteen times since the war began? O, my master, my master, my Panjandrum! [he is convulsed with sobs.] SCHNEIDEKIND. They have killed him? STRAMMFEST. A dagger has been struck through his heart-- SCHNEIDEKIND. Good God! STRAMMFEST. --and through mine, through mine. SCHNEIDEKIND [relieved]. Oh, a metaphorical dagger! I thought you meant a real one. What has happened? STRAMMFEST. His daughter the Grand Duchess Annajanska, she whom the Panjandrina loved beyond all her other children, has--has-- [he cannot finish.] SCHNEIDEKIND. Committed suicide? STRAMMFEST. No. Better if she had. Oh, far far better. SCHNEIDEKIND [in hushed tones]. Left the Church? STRAMMFEST [shocked]. Certainly not. Do not blaspheme, young man. SCHNEIDEKIND. Asked for the vote? STRAMMFEST. I would have given it to her with both hands to save her from this. SCHNEIDEKIND. Save her from what? Dash it, sir, out with it. STRAMMFEST. She has joined the Revolution. SCHNEIDEKIND. But so have you, sir. We've all joined the Revolution. She doesn't mean it any more than we do. STRAMMFEST. Heaven grant you may be right! But that is not the worst. She had eloped with a young officer. Eloped, Schneidekind, eloped! SCHNEIDEKIND [not particularly impressed]. Yes, Sir. STRAMMFEST. Annajanska, the beautiful, the innocent, my master's daughter! [He buries his face in his hands.] The telephone rings. SCHNEIDEKIND [taking the receiver]. Yes: G.H.Q. Yes... Don't bawl: I'm not a general. Who is it speaking?... Why didn't you say so? don't you know your duty? Next time you will lose your stripe... Oh, they've made you a colonel, have they? Well, they've made me a field-marshal: now what have you to say?... Look here: what did you ring up for? I can't spend the day here listening to your cheek... What! the Grand Duchess [Strammfest starts.] Where did you catch her?