Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Older women -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction; Villages -- England -- Fiction
“_The news of your loss has just reached me. Before he died, my
husband made me promise that if you were ever free, I would ask
you to come to me. Will you come now? I am an old woman, and an
invalid. In any case, before long I must have had a companion
who would look after me, and nurse me when necessary. I cannot
offer you a very cheerful home, but if you come you will be
welcome._
“_With sincere sympathy for the grief you have sustained_,
“_Believe me_,
“_Sincerely yours_,
“_JANE BURBAGE_.”
On the next page, the last written page in the book, Anne read these
words:--
“To-morrow I go to Fairholme Court. It is eighteen years since
I saw it. I am now thirty years old, and what I said as a
child is still true. Nothing has ever happened to me. Nothing
will ever happen now. It is not surprising. I am very plain,
and nothing happens to a plain woman who is also poor. I ought
to be very grateful to Mrs. Burbage. She has probably saved
me from starving. I _am_ very grateful. But to-night I can’t
feel anything except that I don’t care to go on living. If I
were a religious woman I should think this sinful, but what I
said as a child is still true. I don’t like religion. I mean
that it has never affected me. Never made me happy. Perhaps I
have never yet found the religion to suit me. I don’t know.
To-morrow I begin a new life, but it will be again a life of
nursing.
“I try to be grateful for a home. I try to feel cheerful. But
all feeling seems to have gone. I remember my thoughts as a
child. I was often very eager then, and hopeful. I was often
sure in my heart that something delightful would happen to me.
But now nothing seems worth while, and I am only very tired.
Perhaps when I feel better I shall be glad that Fairholme Court
is beautiful and in the country. To-night even that doesn’t
matter.
“Hugh wrote to me after father’s death. He has saved a little
money, and with another man, a friend, he is going to start
a sheep farm in New Zealand. He is engaged to be married to a
girl he met on one of his voyages. She has since returned to
England, and they will have to wait till he has made a home for
her before they can marry. But he seems full of hope, and is
very happy.
“I am chiefly thankful for Mrs. Burbage’s invitation, because
now I need not be a burden to him. As it is, he has sent me
money which he can ill afford, though without it I could
not have existed during the past few months. He wanted my
photograph, and, to please him, I had it taken. The other
copies will be wasted. There’s no one else in the world who
wants my picture. All my things are packed. This is the end of
my life here. I wish it were the end altogether.”
A photograph, one of the wasted copies, was placed between the leaves,
at the last written page.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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