Country life -- England -- Fiction; Domestic fiction
"Is he better?" she whispered. "Can I come in?"
Jerrold shook his head. "Better not--yet."
"You'll send for me if--if--"
"Yes."
He heard her trailing away along the gallery. He went into the room. He
stood at the foot of the bed and stared, stared at his father lying
there in Eliot's arms. He would have liked to have been in Eliot's
place, close to him, close, holding him. As it was he could do nothing
but stand and look at him with that helpless, agonized stare. He _had_
to look at him, to look and look, punishing himself with sight for not
having seen.
His eyes felt hot and brittle; they kept on filling with tears, burned
themselves dry and filled again. His hand clutched the edge of the
footrail as if only so he could keep his stand there.
A stream of warm air came through the open windows. Everything in the
room stood still in it, unnaturally still, waiting. He was aware of the
pattern of the window curtains. Blue parrots perched on brown branches
among red flowers on a white ground; it all hung very straight and
still, waiting.
Anne looked at him and spoke. She was standing beside the bed now,
holding the clean basin and a towel, ready.
"Jerrold, you might go and get some more ice. It's in the bucket in the
bath-room. Break it up into little pieces, like that. You split it with
a needle."
He went to the bath-room, moving like a sleepwalker, wrapped in his
dream-like horror. He found the ice, he broke it into little pieces,
like that. He was very careful and conscientious about the size, and
grateful to Anne for giving him something to do. Then he went back again
and took up his station at the foot of the bed and waited. His father
still lay back on his pillow, propped by Eliot's arm. His hands were
folded on his chest above the bedclothes.
Anne still stood by the bed holding her basin and her towel ready. From
time to time they gave him little pieces of ice to suck.
Once he opened his eyes, looked round the room and spoke. "Is your
mother there?"
"Do you want her?" Eliot said.
"No. It'll only upset her. Don't let her come in."
He closed his eyes and opened them again.
"Is that Anne?"
"Yes. Who did you think it was?"
"I don't know...I'm sorry, Anne."
"Darling--" the word broke from a tender inarticulate sound she made.
Then: "Jerrold--," he said.
Jerrold came closer. His father's right arm unfolded itself and
stretched out towards him along the bed.
Anne whispered, "Take his hand." Jerrold took it. He could feel it
tremble as he touched it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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