Massachusetts -- Fiction; Working class -- Fiction
“Oh, we must continue to do charity,” cried Annie, with self-contempt that
amused him. “But don't you see how much more complicated it is? That's what
I meant by life not being simple any more. It was easy enough to do charity
when it used to seem the right and proper remedy for suffering; but now,
when I can't make it appear a finality, but only something provisional,
temporary--Don't you see?”
“Yes, I see. But I don't see how you're going to help it At the same time,
I'll allow that it makes life more difficult.”
For a moment they were both serious and silent. Then she said: “Sometimes I
think the fault is all in myself, and that if I were not so sophisticated
and--and--selfish, I should find the old way of doing good just as
effective and natural as ever. Then again, I think the conditions are all
wrong, and that we ought to be fairer to people, and then we needn't be so
good to them. I should prefer that. I hate being good to people I don't
like, and I can't like people who don't interest me. I think I must be very
hard-hearted.”
The doctor laughed at this.
“Oh, I know,” said Annie, “I know the fraudulent reputation I've got for
good works.”
“Your charity to tramps is the opprobrium of Hatboro',” the doctor
consented.
“Oh, I don't mind that. It's easy when people ask you for food or money,
but the horrible thing is when they ask you for work. Think of me, who
never did anything to earn a cent in my life, being humbly asked by a
fellow-creature to let him work for something to eat and drink! It's
hideous! It's abominable! At first I used to be flattered by it, and try
to conjure up something for them to do, and to believe that I was helping
the deserving poor. Now I give all of them money, and tell them that they
needn't even pretend to work for it. _I_ don't work for my money, and
I don't see why they should.”
“They'd find that an unanswerable argument if you put it to them,” said the
doctor. He reached out his hand for the paper-cutter, and then withdrew it
in a way that made her laugh.
“But the worst of it is,” she resumed, “that I don't love any of the people
that I help, or hurt, whichever it is. I did feel remorseful toward Mrs.
Savor for a while, but I didn't love her, and I knew that I only pitied
myself through her. Don't you see?”
“No, I don't,” said the doctor.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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