I regained the house through the fields, shrouded in a profound
obscurity, inhaling slowly the balmy air; and when I had re-entered my
little room, I felt troubled to the bottom of my soul by the confused
expectation of an undefined happiness. What do I say? I was already
happy; why? I could not have told what I wanted, nor of what I was
thinking, and yet I was happy.
At the time this superabundance of strange and delicious sensations
almost made me laugh; I quickly went to bed, and just as I was closing
my eyes I suddenly remembered that I had not thought the whole evening
of my faithless one.--What does this mean, I asked myself; is it that I
am no longer in love? But that question remained unanswered, and I slept
like a child in its cradle.
III.
The next morning, being awake, but not yet up, I heard the sound of a
walking-stick echoing under my window, and a voice that I recognized as
that of Gaguine, pouring forth the following song:--
"Si je trouve encor dans les bras du sommeil,
Je viens te reveiller au bruit de ma guitare."[1]
[Footnote 1: Verse from Romance of Glinker.]
I hastened to open the door to him.
"Good-morning," said he, entering, "I disturb you very early, but the
weather is so fine. See what a delicious freshness, the dew, the singing
of the larks"--
And, indeed, he, with his rosy cheeks, his curly hair, and his half-bare
neck, had all the freshness of morning.
I dressed myself; we went into my little garden and took a seat upon a
bench; they brought our coffee there, and we began to talk.
Gaguine told of some of his future plans; having a fine fortune and
dependent upon no one, he wished to devote himself to painting, and
regretted only that he had taken it up so late, he had lost so much
valuable time. I in turn confided to him the plans that I had formed,
and took advantage of the opportunity to make him the confidant of my
unhappy love affair. He listened patiently, but I could see that the
sufferings of my heart had but little interest for him. After having
listened to my story for politeness' sake, with two or three sighs, he
proposed that we should go and see his sketches. I immediately
consented. We started. Annouchka was not at home. The landlady informed
us that she must be at the ruins. They so called the remains of an old
feudal castle, which was situated a mile or so from the town. Gaguine
opened all his portfolios. I found that his sketches had much life and
truth, something broad and bold; but none were finished, and the drawing
appeared to me incorrect and careless.
I frankly expressed my opinion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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