“These were admirable tactics. She was bewitching in this transition
of feeling, indispensable to the situation in which she wished to place
herself in regard to me. I fell into the attitude, the manners, and the
look of a man so deeply distressed, that I saw her too newly assumed
dignity giving way; she looked at me, took my hand, drew me along
almost, threw me on the sofa, but quite gently, and said after a
moment’s silence, ‘I am dreadfully unhappy, my dear fellow. Do you love
me?’—‘Oh! yes.’—‘Well, then, what will become of you?’”
At this point the women all looked at each other.
“Though I can still suffer when I recall her perfidy, I still laugh at
her expression of entire conviction and sweet satisfaction that I must
die, or at any rate sink into perpetual melancholy,” de Marsay went on.
“Oh! do not laugh yet!” he said to his listeners; “there is better to
come. I looked at her very tenderly after a pause, and said to her,
‘Yes, that is what I have been wondering.’—‘Well, what will you do?’—‘I
asked myself that the day after my cold.’—‘And——?’ she asked with eager
anxiety.—‘And I have made advances to the little lady to whom I was
supposed to be attached.’
“Charlotte started up from the sofa like a frightened doe, trembling
like a leaf, gave me one of those looks in which women forgo all their
dignity, all their modesty, their refinement, and even their grace, the
sparkling glitter of a hunted viper’s eye when driven into a corner, and
said, ‘And I have loved this man! I have struggled! I have——’ On this
last thought, which I leave you to guess, she made the most impressive
pause I ever heard.—‘Good God!’ she cried, ‘how unhappy are we women!
we never can be loved. To you there is nothing serious in the purest
feelings. But never mind; when you cheat us you still are our dupes!’—‘I
see that plainly,’ said I, with a stricken air; ‘you have far too much
wit in your anger for your heart to suffer from it.’—This modest epigram
increased her rage; she found some tears of vexation. ‘You disgust
me with the world and with life.’ she said; ‘you snatch away all my
illusions; you deprave my heart.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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