It intimidated Wilfred. “I was only speculating,” he said, his eyes
trailing away. Inwardly he was in a panic. Was it Joe? . . . It could
not be Joe. . . . But he knew that it _was_ Joe! The thought was like
the recurrence of a madness. He fought against it blindly. . . . She had
not succumbed. She was fighting. Something must be done to help her!
. . .
Elaine said, gloomily resting her chin on her palm: “Nobody can help
anybody else, really. Each of us has his own particular hell.”
“People _could_ help one another if they were sufficiently honest,”
Wilfred insisted. “It requires a terrifying honesty. Once or twice in a
lifetime, maybe . . . I’ve been helped.”
Elaine’s look upon him was scarcely flattering. It said: Your case is
hardly the same as mine!
Something must be done! Something must be done! the panic-stricken voice
cried within Wilfred. He despaired of finding the right words to say. He
said nothing.
“When you’re faced by a serious problem, should you listen to your heart
or your head?” asked Elaine, flicking the ash off her cigarette.
“To both,” he answered.
“That’s merely silly,” she said with curling lip. “If they’re warring
voices.”
Wilfred flushed. “I was wrong,” he said. “It’s confusing. . . . I never
can speak without thinking. You should listen to your heart always.”
“Ah!” she said, with the air of one who had caught him out. “Then you
believe that passion should override everything; all considerations of
prudence; everything!”
Wilfred felt his lips growing tight. “Passion does not always come from
the heart,” he said. “As I understand it.”
“What do you mean?”
“There is infatuation.”
At that word Elaine ran up her eyebrows in two little peaks; but Wilfred
somehow found the courage to face her out. A silence succeeded, which
shook him badly. A gush of foolish, emotional speech filled his mouth
like warm blood. He grimly swallowed it, waiting.
“Suppose one experienced a violent passion,” asked Elaine, with a casual
air which concealed nothing from the man who loved her, “how on earth
would one know whether it was love or infatuation?”
“By the quality of the object,” he said quickly. “If it was
worthy. . . .”
“That’s nonsense!” she said scornfully. “If you were infatuated you
would think the object was glorious anyhow.”
Wilfred shook his head. “That’s where the heart comes in. No matter how
blinded we may be, we each have a voice in our breasts that whispers the
truth. Only we don’t want to listen.”
“You must have a well-trained little prompter!” said Elaine.
He looked at her. He could bear her gibes. He held his tongue, waiting
for the right word.
She said: “I’d have to have some surer guide than mysterious inner
voices.”
“That’s easy,” said Wilfred quickly. “If your passion is for a worthy
object you feel proud; if it is not worthy, you suffer like the devil.”
“I wasn’t talking about _my_ passion,” said Elaine laughing; but her
long-lashed eyes were dreadfully haunted.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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