Black humor; City and town life -- Fiction; Intellectuals -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Satire
“Will that prevent you from making as great a fool of yourself again
to-morrow? It will not. It will most assuredly not.” Gumbril Senior
shook his head. “The inconveniences and horrors of the pox are perfectly
well known to every one; but still the disease flourishes and spreads.
Several million people were killed in a recent war and half the world
ruined; but we all busily go on in courses that make another event of
the same sort inevitable. _Experientia docet? Experientia_ doesn’t. And
that is why we must not be too hard on these honest citizens of London
who, fully appreciating the inconveniences of darkness, disorder and
dirt, manfully resisted any attempt to alter conditions which they had
been taught from childhood onwards to consider as necessary, right and
belonging inevitably to the order of things. We must not be too hard. We
are doing something even worse ourselves. Knowing by a century of
experience how beautiful, how graceful, how soothing to the mind is an
ordered piece of town-planning, we pull down almost the only specimen of
it we possess and put up in its place a chaos of Portland stone that is
an offence against civilization. But let us forget about these old
citizens and the labyrinth of ugliness and inconvenience which we have
inherited from them, and which is called London. Let us forget the
contemporaries who are making it still worse than it was. Come for a
walk with me through this ideal city. Look.”
And Gumbril Senior began expounding it to them.
In the middle, there, of that great elliptical Piazza at the eastern end
of the new City, stands, four-square, the Royal Exchange. Pierced only
with small dark windows, and built of rough ashlars of the silvery
Portland stone, the ground floor serves as a massy foundation for the
huge pilasters that slide up, between base and capital, past three tiers
of pedimented windows. Upon them rest the cornice, the attic and the
balustrade, and on every pier of the balustrade a statue holds up its
symbol against the sky. Four great portals, rich with allegory, admit to
the courtyard with its double tier of coupled columns, its cloister and
its gallery. The statue of Charles the Martyr rides triumphantly in the
midst, and within the windows one guesses the great rooms, rich with
heavy garlands of plaster, panelled with carved wood.
Ten streets give on to the Piazza, and at either end of its ellipse the
water of sumptuous fountains ceaselessly blows aloft and falls.
Commerce, in that to the north of the Exchange, holds up her cornucopia,
and from the midst of its grapes and apples the master jet leaps up;
from the teats of all the ten Useful Arts, grouped with their symbols
about the central figure, there spouts a score of fine subsidiary
streams. The dolphins, the sea-horses and the Tritons sport in the basin
below. To the south, the ten principal cities of the Kingdom stand in a
family round the Mother London, who pours from her urn an inexhaustible
Thames.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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