Black humor; City and town life -- Fiction; Intellectuals -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Satire
Lypiatt nodded, without saying anything.
Mr. Boldero, meanwhile, was turning his bright, bird-like eyes about the
studio. Mrs. Viveash’s portrait, all but finished now, was clamped to
the easel. He approached it, a connoisseur.
“It reminds me very much,” he said, “of Bacosso. Very much indeed, if I
may say so. Also a little of ...” he hesitated, trying to think of the
name of that other fellow Gumbril had talked about. But being unable to
remember the unimpressive syllables of Derain he played for safety and
said—“of Orpen.” Mr. Boldero looked inquiringly at Lypiatt to see if
that was right.
Lypiatt still spoke no word and seemed, indeed, not to have heard what
had been said.
Mr. Boldero saw that it wasn’t much good talking about modern art. This
chap, he thought, looked as though something were wrong with him. He
hoped he hadn’t got influenza. There was a lot of the disease about.
“This little affair I was speaking of,” he pursued, in another tone, “is
a little business proposition that Mr. Gumbril and I have gone into
together. A matter of pneumatic trousers,” he waved his hand airily.
Lypiatt suddenly burst out laughing, an embittered Titan. Where do flies
go? Where do souls go? The barrel-organ, and now pneumatic trousers!
Then, as suddenly, he was silent again. More literature? Another piece
of acting? “Go on,” he said, “I’m sorry.”
“Not at all, not at all,” said Mr. Boldero indulgently. “I know the idea
does seem a little humorous, if I may say so, at first. But I assure
you, there’s money in it, Mr. Lydgate—Mr. Lypiatt. Money!” Mr. Boldero
paused a moment dramatically. “Well,” he went on, “our idea was to
launch the new product with a good swingeing publicity campaign. Spend a
few thousands in the papers and then get it good and strong into the
Underground and on the hoardings, along with Owbridge’s and John Bull
and the Golden Ballot. Now, for that, Mr. Lypiatt, we shall need, as you
can well imagine, a few good striking pictures. Mr. Gumbril mentioned
your name and suggested I should come and see you to find out if you
would perhaps be agreeable to lending us your talent for this work. And
I may add, Mr. Lypiatt,” he spoke with real warmth, “that having seen
this example of your work”—he pointed to the portrait of Mrs. Viveash—“I
feel that you would be eminently capable of....”
He did not finish the sentence; for at this moment Lypiatt leapt up from
his chair and, making a shrill, inarticulate, animal noise, rushed on
the financier, seized him with both hands by the throat, shook him,
threw him to the floor, then picked him up again by the coat collar and
pushed him towards the door, kicking him as he went. A final kick sent
Mr. Boldero tobogganing down the steep stairs. Lypiatt ran down after
him; but Mr. Boldero had picked himself up, had opened the front door,
slipped out, slammed it behind him, and was running up the mews before
Lypiatt could get to the bottom of the stairs.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account