Black humor; City and town life -- Fiction; Intellectuals -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Satire
In the warm yellow light of the coffee-stall at Hyde Park Corner
loitered a little group of people. Among the peaked caps and the
chauffeurs’ dust-coats, among the weather-stained workmen’s jackets and
the knotted handkerchiefs, there emerged an alien elegance. A tall tubed
hat and a silk-faced overcoat, a cloak of flame-coloured satin, and in
bright, coppery hair a great Spanish comb of carved tortoiseshell.
“Well, I’m damned,” said Gumbril as they approached. “I believe it’s
Myra Viveash.”
“So it is,” said Lypiatt, peering in his turn. He began suddenly to walk
with an affected swagger, kicking his heels at every step. Looking at
himself from outside, his divining eyes pierced through the veil of
cynical _je-m’en-fichisme_ to the bruised heart beneath. Besides, he
didn’t want any one to guess.
“The Viveash is it?” Coleman quickened his rapping along the pavement.
“And who is the present incumbent?” He pointed at the top hat.
“Can it be Bruin Opps?” said Gumbril dubiously.
“Opps!” Coleman yelled out the name. “Opps!”
The top hat turned, revealing a shirt front, a long grey face, a glitter
of circular glass over the left eye. “Who the devil are you?” The voice
was harsh and arrogantly offensive.
“I am that I am,” said Coleman. “But I have with me”—he pointed to
Shearwater, to Gumbril, to Zoe—“a physiologue, a pedagogue and a
priapagogue; for I leave out of account mere artists and journalists
whose titles do not end with the magic syllable. And finally,”
indicating himself, “plain Dog, which being interpreted kabbalistically
backwards, signifies God. All at your service.” He took off his hat and
bowed.
The top hat turned back towards the Spanish comb. “Who is this horrible
drunk?” it inquired.
Mrs. Viveash did not answer him, but stepped forward to meet the
newcomers. In one hand she held a peeled, hard-boiled egg and a thick
slice of bread and butter in the other, and between her sentences she
bit at them alternately.
“Coleman!” she exclaimed, and her voice, as she spoke, seemed always on
the point of expiring, as though each word were the last, utterly
faintly and breakingly from a death-bed—the last, with all the profound
and nameless significance of the ultimate word. “It’s a very long time
since I heard you raving last. And you, Theodore darling, why do I never
see you now?”
Gumbril shrugged his shoulders. “Because you don’t want to, I suppose,”
he said.
Myra laughed and took another bite at her bread and butter.... She laid
the back of her hand—for she was still holding the butt end of her
hard-boiled egg—on Lypiatt’s arm. The Titan, who had been looking at the
sky, seemed to be surprised to find her standing there. “You?” he said,
smiling and wrinkling up his forehead interrogatively.
“It’s to-morrow I’m sitting for you, Casimir, isn’t it?”
“Ah, you remembered.” The veil parted for a moment. Poor Lypiatt! “And
happy Mercaptan? Always happy?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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