Black humor; City and town life -- Fiction; Intellectuals -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Satire
“I’ll send the garments this evening,” said Mr. Bojanus. Gumbril left
the shop. At the theatrical wig-maker’s in Leicester Square he ordered a
blond fan-shaped beard to match his own hair and moustache. He would, at
any rate, be his own leader; he would wear a badge, a symbol of
authority. And Coleman had said that there were dangerous relations to
be entered into by the symbol’s aid.
Ah, now he was provisionally a member of Coleman’s herd. It was all very
depressing.
CHAPTER IX
Fan-shaped, blond, mounted on gauze and guaranteed undetectable, it
arrived from the wig-maker, preciously packed in a stout cardboard box
six times too large for it and accompanied by a quarter of a pint of the
choicest spirit gum. In the privacy of his bedroom Gumbril uncoffined
it, held it out for his own admiration, caressed its silkiness and
finally tried it on, holding it provisionally to his chin, in front of
the looking-glass. The effect, he decided immediately, was stunning, was
grandiose. From melancholy and all too mild he saw himself transformed
on the instant into a sort of jovial Henry the Eighth, into a massive
Rabelaisian man, broad and powerful and exuberant with vitality and
hair.
The proportions of his face were startlingly altered. The podium, below
the mouth, had been insufficiently massive to carry the stately order of
the nose; and the ratiocinative attic of the forehead, noble enough, no
doubt, in itself, had been disproportionately high. The beard now
supplied the deficiencies in the stylobate, and planted now on a firm
basement of will, the order of the senses, the aerial attic of ideas,
reared themselves with a more classical harmoniousness of proportion. It
only remained for him to order from Mr. Bojanus an American coat, padded
out at the shoulders as squarely and heroically as a doublet of the
Cinquecento, and he would look the complete Rabelaisian man. Great
eater, deep drinker, stout fighter, prodigious lover; clear thinker,
creator of beauty, seeker of truth and prophet of heroic grandeurs.
Fitted out with coat and beard, he could qualify for the next vacancy
among the cœnobites of Thelema.
He removed his beard—“put his beaver up,” as they used to say in the
fine old days of chivalry; he would have to remember that little joke
for Coleman’s benefit. He put his beaver up—ha, ha!—and stared ruefully
at the far from Rabelaisian figure which now confronted him. The
moustache—that was genuine enough—which had looked, in conjunction with
the splendid work of art below, so fierce and manly, served by itself,
he now perceived, only droopily to emphasize his native mildness and
melancholy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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