Black humor; City and town life -- Fiction; Intellectuals -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Satire
It was at this moment that the reflection of the stranger’s face joined
itself in the little mirror, as she made a little movement away from the
Old Welsh dresser in the corner, to that of his own. She looked at the
spurious Heppelwhite. Their eyes met in the hospitable glass. Gumbril
smiled. The corners of the stranger’s wide mouth seemed faintly to move;
like petals of the magnolia, her eyelids came slowly down over her
slanting eyes. Gumbril turned from the reflection to the reality.
“If you want to say Beaver,” he said, “you may.”
The Complete Man had made his first speech.
“I want to say nothing,” said the stranger. She spoke with a charming
precision and distinctness, lingering with a pretty emphasis on the _n_
of nothing. “N—n—nothing”—it sounded rather final. She turned away, she
moved on.
But the Complete Man was not one to be put off by a mere ultimatum.
“There,” he said, falling into step with her, “now I’ve had it—the
deserved snub. Honour is saved, prestige duly upheld. Now we can get on
with our conversation.”
The Mild and Melancholy one stood by, gasping with astonished
admiration.
“You are v—very impertinent,” said the stranger, smiling and looking up
from under the magnolia petals.
“It is in my character,” said the Complete Man. “You mustn’t blame me.
One cannot escape from one’s heredity; that’s one’s share of original
sin.”
“There is always grace,” said the stranger.
Gumbril caressed his beard. “True,” he replied.
“I advise you to pr—ray for it.”
His prayer, the Mild and Melancholy one reflected, had already been
answered. The original sin in him had been self-corrected.
“Here is another antique shop,” said Gumbril. “Shall we stop and have a
look at it?”
The stranger glanced at him doubtfully. But he looked quite serious.
They stopped.
“How revolting this sham cottage furniture is,” Gumbril remarked. The
shop, he noticed, was called ‘Ye Olde Farme House.’
The stranger, who had been on the point of saying how much she liked
those lovely Old Welsh dressers, gave him her heartiest agreement. “So
v—vulgar.”
“So horribly refined. So refined and artistic.”
She laughed on a descending chromatic scale. This was excitingly new.
Poor Aunt Aggie with her Arts and Crafts, and her old English furniture.
And to think she had taken them so seriously! She saw in a flash the
fastidious lady that she now was—with Louis whatever-it-was furniture at
home, and jewels, and young poets to tea, and real artists. In the past,
when she had imagined herself entertaining real artists, it had always
been among really artistic furniture. Aunt Aggie’s furniture. But
now—no, oh no. This man was probably an artist. His beard; and that big
black hat. But not poor; very well dressed.
“Yes, it’s funny to think that there are people who call that sort of
thing artistic. One’s quite s—sorry for them,” she added, with a little
hiss.
“You have a kind heart,” said Gumbril. “I’m glad to see that.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account