Black humor; City and town life -- Fiction; Intellectuals -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Satire
His father had gone out to dine, and Gumbril had eaten his rump steak
and drunk his bottle of stout alone. He was sitting now in front of the
open French windows which led from his father’s workroom on to the
balcony, with a block on his knee and a fountain-pen in his hand,
composing advertisements for the Patent Small-Clothes. Outside, in the
plane trees of the square, the birds had gone through their nightly
performance. But Gumbril had paid no attention to them. He sat there,
smoking, sometimes writing a word or two—sunk in the quagmire of his own
drowsy and comfortable body. The flawless weather of the day had
darkened into a blue May evening. It was agreeable merely to be alive.
He sketched out two or three advertisements in the grand idealistic
transatlantic style. He imagined one in particular with a picture of
Nelson at the head of the page and ‘England expects ...’ printed large
beneath it. “England ... Duty ... these are solemn words.” That was how
it would begin. “These are solemn words, and we use them solemnly as men
who realize what Duty is, and who do all that in them lies to perform it
as Englishmen should. The Manufacturer’s is a sacred trust. The guide
and ruler of the modern world, he has, like the Monarch of other days,
responsibilities towards his people; he has a Duty to fulfil. He rules,
but he must also serve. We realize our responsibilities, we take them
seriously. Gumbril’s Patent Small-Clothes have been brought into the
world that they may serve. Our Duty towards you is a Duty of Service.
Our proud boast is that we perform it. But besides his Duty towards
Others, every man has a duty towards Himself. What is that Duty? It is
to keep himself in the highest possible state of physical and spiritual
fitness. Gumbril’s Patent Small-Clothes protect the lumbar ganglia....”
After that it would be plain medical and mystical sailing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account