"No, I do not propose to blush," she said, with the frankness of a
serious resolution; "I propose to be your wife, for to be your mistress
would degrade you. Commonplace love affairs are not becoming to a man
like you; to a woman like me, dissolute conduct is impossible. I too
would kill myself first! Julien, let us take our oath here and now to
marry, whatever happens, whether I am rich or destitute, for there is as
much chance of one as of the other. If I am poor, your determination
will never weaken, you will sustain and support me. If I am rich, you
will have no vain pride, you will share my destiny. This must be
decided, agreed upon, sworn to. I am not brave, I warn you; that is why
I insist upon pledging myself irrevocably, and then I know that I shall
look neither to the right hand nor to the left. My love will become a
duty; then I shall be strong, resolute and self-possessed. I was able to
endure despair in marriage, because I have principles and true piety;
with all the more reason I shall accept happiness, and I will struggle
to be happy as I struggled formerly not to desire to be. Swear, my
friend; we must be everything to each other, or we must never meet
again; for this is certain, we love each other and our love is stronger
than we are. Society can have nothing to say. For a fortnight past I
have ceased to live, I have felt that I was dying. To-day, I went mad; I
should have run after you just now if you had said to me: 'I do not love
you.'--Or no, I should have thrown myself into the basin, with the moon
and the star that shine in its depths. Julien, I am losing my mind, I
never said such things before, I did not think that I should ever dare
to say them, but here am I saying them to you, and I am not sure that it
is myself who speaks. Have pity on me, sustain me, preserve my honor,
which is yours, preserve your wife's purity for your own sake."
"Yes, my wife! yes, I swear it!" cried Julien, in an ecstasy of joy.
"And do you too, Julie, swear it before God!"
"_Mon Dieu!_" said Julie, bewildered and suddenly becoming a little
cowardly, "we have known each other a month----"
"No, not a month," replied Julien. "Only an hour; for we met a month ago
for a quarter of an hour here, a quarter of an hour at your house, and
this evening in the street for half an hour. We may as well say, Julie,
that, so far as appearances go, we do not know each other at all, and
yet we love each other. God above hears us and knows it well, for it was
He who wished it, who still wishes it!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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