"Yes," replied the widow, "I think so. If he were deceiving me--But no!
after the hopes he has had it is not possible, is it, my boy? You can't
cheat the eyes of a mother who adores you?"
"No, of course not. Sleep in peace, dear aunt! I will go to bid Julien
good-day.--If he is really deceiving his mother after the failure of his
hopes," he thought as he looked for Julien among the shrubbery, "he must
be a devilishly strong fellow!"
Julien was digging a little hole in which to transplant a tree. He wore
a linen blouse and his head was bare. Standing in the loose earth, with
his hands resting on the handle of his spade, like a laborer taking
breath, he was musing so deeply that he did not hear his cousin's step,
and Marcel, who saw his profile only, was profoundly impressed by the
expression of his face. That manly countenance did not as yet bear the
marks of sorrow which were already impairing Julie's beauty; but it had
the tense, drawn look of despair which Marcel had had an opportunity to
study on her face.
Julien spied his cousin, did not start at sight of him, and greeted him
with a smile. It was precisely the same smile of lifeless affability
with which Julie greeted him, a sweet but terrible smile, like that
which we sometimes see playing about the lips of a dying man.
"This looks bad!" thought Marcel. "He is devilishly strong, no doubt,
but he is probably the sicker of the two."
Marcel in his distress had not the strength to conceal his emotion. He
loved Julien dearly; his prudence deserted him.
"Tell me," he said, "is anything the matter, are you unhappy?"
"Yes, my friend, you know very well that I am unhappy," replied the
artist, dropping his spade and walking with his cousin under the trees.
"How could it possibly be otherwise? You are well aware that I loved a
certain woman, for my mother told you so. That woman has gone away.
Don't tell me that she will return; I know perfectly well that she must
return; but I know too that it is my duty never to seek her presence
again, and to say to myself that she is dead to me."
"And--have you the courage to accept that conclusion?" said Marcel.
"Yes, if it is my duty! You understand, my friend, that a man must
always accept his duty."
"Men submit to it with different degrees of courage: a man----"
"Yes, a man is a man. I am terribly unhappy, Marcel! I propose to endure
it. I could endure it alone, you may be sure of that, but you can help
me a little. Why do you refuse? What you have been doing the last two
months is very cruel."
"How can I help you?" said Marcel, suspecting some stratagem devised by
passion to discover Julie's retreat.
"_Mon Dieu!_" replied Julien, reading his friend's thoughts, "it's a
very simple matter; you can tell me that she is happier than I am, that
is all."
"How can I know?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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