To narrate the confusion and horror within and without the temple on
the discovery of this fatal even; to describe the execrations and
tumults of the priests and the populace, who at once suspected the
favoured and ambitious Christians of causing, by poison, the death of
their spiritual ruler, might be interesting as a history of the manners
of the times, but is immaterial to the object of this chapter. We
prefer rather to trace the effect on the mind of Ulpius of his personal
and private bereavement; of this loss--irretrievable to him--of the
master whom he loved and the guardian whom it was his privilege to
revere.
An illness of some months, during the latter part of which his
attendants trembled for his life and reason, sufficiently attested the
sincerity of the grief of Ulpius for the loss of his protector. During
his paroxysms of delirium the priests who watched round his bed drew
from his ravings many wise conclusions as to the effects that his
seizure and its causes were likely to produce on his future character;
but, in spite of all their penetration, they were still far from
appreciating to a tithe of its extent the revolution that his
bereavement had wrought in his disposition. The boy himself, until the
moment of the high priest's death, had never been aware of the depth of
his devotion to his second father. Warped as they had been by his
natural parent, the affectionate qualities that were the mainspring of
his nature had never been entirely destroyed; and they seized on every
kind word and gentle action of Macrinus as food which had been grudged
them since their birth. Morally and intellectually, Macrinus had been
to him the beacon that pointed the direction of his course, the judge
that regulated his conduct, the Muse that he looked to for inspiration.
And now, when this link which had connected every ramification of his
most cherished and governing ideas was suddenly snapped asunder, a
desolation sunk down upon his mind which at once paralysed its
elasticity and withered its freshness. He glanced back, and saw
nothing but a home from whose pleasures and affections his father's
ambition had exiled him for ever. He looked forward, and as he thought
of his unfitness, both from character and education, to mix in the
world as others mixed in it, he saw no guiding star of social happiness
for the conduct of his existence to come. There was now no resource
left for him but entirely to deliver himself up to those pursuits which
had made his home as a strange place to him, which were hallowed by
their connection with the lost object of his attachment, and which
would confer the sole happiness and distinction that he could hope for
in the wide world on his future life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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