The second preserved their ancient respect for the theory of Paganism,
but abandoned all hope and intention of ever again accomplishing its
practice. By such timely concessions many were enabled to
preserve--and some even to attain--high and lucrative employments as
officers of the State.
The third retired to their homes, the voluntary exiles of every
religion; resigning the practice of their old worship as a necessity,
and shunning the communion of Christians as a matter of choice.
Such were the unimportant divisions into which the last remnants of the
once powerful Pagan community now subsided; but to none of them was the
ruined and degraded Ulpius ever attached.
For five weary years--dating from the epoch of the prohibition of
Paganism--he wandered through the Empire, visiting in every country the
ruined shrines of his deserted worship--a friendless, hopeless,
solitary man!
Throughout the whole of Europe, and all of Asia and the East that still
belonged to Rome, he bent his slow and toilsome course. In the fertile
valleys of Gaul, over the burning sands of Africa, through the
sun-bright cities of Spain, he travelled--unfriended as a man under a
curse, lonely as a second Cain. Never for an instant did the
remembrance of his ruined projects desert his memory, or his mad
determination to revive his worship abandon his mind. At every relic
of Paganism, however slight, that he encountered on his way, he found a
nourishment for his fierce anguish, and employment for his vengeful
thoughts. Often, in the little villages, children were frightened from
their sports in a deserted temple by the apparition of his gaunt, rigid
figure among the tottering pillars, or the sound of his hollow voice as
he muttered to himself among the ruins of the Pagan tombs. Often, in
crowded cities, groups of men, congregated to talk over the fall of
Paganism, found him listening at their sides, and comforting them, when
they carelessly regretted their ancient faith, with a smiling and
whispered assurance that a time of restitution would yet come. By all
opinions and in all places he was regarded as a harmless madman, whose
strange delusions and predilections were not to be combated, but to be
indulged. Thus he wandered through the Christian world; regardless
alike of lapse of time and change of climate; living within himself;
mourning, as a luxury, over the fall of his worship; patient of wrongs,
insults, and disappointments; watching for the opportunity that he
still persisted in believing was yet to arrive; holding by his fatal
determination with all the recklessness of ambition and all the
perseverance of revenge.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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