Apologia DiffidentisDalton, O. M. (Ormonde Maddock)
Philosophy
Apologia Diffidentis
Dalton, O. M. (Ormonde Maddock)
Bashfulness
There is a place in every heart which must be filled by adoration, or
else the whole will grow hard and wither like a garden whose central
fountain is grown dry. And though the affection of mortal man or woman
may abandon it, there remains yet this other love which by pure and
strenuous invocation may be drawn to it, and dwell in it, to the
ennoblement of life; so great is the care of providence for mortal need.
Love is our need, and it is given, if we despair not of it, even to such
as have rarely felt the glow of earthly passion. For love is of many
kinds; yet the palest and most subtle of its forms are made real to
those who believe, and may become the guiding influences of their lives.
Such are the visions of the ideal love to which those glad natural
sympathies now led me, leaving me alone awhile that I might worship the
orient light. And when I came out from that presence I rejoiced indeed,
for the path was clear for my return, and life was now glad with promise
like an orchard burgeoning with white blossoms. Old memories crowded
back on me of hours beneath the cedars with the Phaedrus and the Vita
Nuova, hours made happy with intellectual and austere delights. But now
the joy was other than intellectual, though significant tenfold, for
then in untried youth I had wondered at the beauty of an imaginary
world; now with eyes that had looked on desolation I perceived that
these visions were true. For had they been no more than airy fancies,
they surely had not endured throughout these long ages in our laden and
mortal air.
It was not merely the beauty of a literary setting which had preserved
them: the craftsman's skill might indeed have enhanced their natural
splendour, but it could not have alone inspired them with this perennial
life. The gem with fire in its heart outlives the delicate setting;
though it may be maltreated and buried for centuries by the wayside, it
will come to light when the gold that framed it is long battered or
lost, and will be desired by new generations for its inherent and
unalterable beauty.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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