"Yes," says Joyce in a low tone. It has not occurred to her that his
words are a question rather than an asseveration. That he loves her,
seems to her certain. A soft glow illumines her cheeks; her eyes sink
beneath his; the idea that she is happy, or at all events _ought_ to be
happy, fills her with a curious wonderment. Do people always feel so
strange, so surprised, so _unsure_, when love comes to them?
"Yet you _did_ doubt," says Beauclerk, giving her hand a last pressure,
and now nestling back amongst his cushions with all the air of a man who
has fought and conquered and has been given his reward. "Well, don't let
us throw an unpleasant memory into this happy hour. As I have said,"
taking up her fan and idly, if gracefully, waving it to and fro, "after
all the turmoil of the fight it is sweet to find oneself at last in the
haven where one would be."
He is smiling at Joyce--the gayest, the most candid smile in the world.
Smiles become him. He is looking really handsome and _happy_ at finding
himself thus alone with her. Sincerity declares itself in every line of
his face. Perhaps he _is_ as sincere as he has ever yet been in his
life. The one thing that he unquestionably does regard with interest
beyond his own poor precious bones, is the exquisite bit of nature's
workmanship now sitting beside him.
At this present moment, in spite of his flattering words, his smiles and
telling glances, she is still a little cold, a little uncertain, a phase
of manner that renders her indescribably charming to the one watching
her.
Beauclerk indeed is enjoying himself immensely. To a man of his
temperament to be able to play upon a nature as fine, as honest, as pure
as Joyce's is to know a keen delight. That the girl is dissatisfied,
vaguely, nervously dissatisfied, he can read as easily as though the
workings of her soul lay before him in broad type, and to assuage those
half-defined misgivings of hers is a task that suits him. He attacks it
_con amore_.
"How silent you are," says he, very gently, when he has let quite a long
pause occur.
"I am tired, I think."
"Of me?"
"No."
"Of what then?" He has found that as a rule there is nothing a woman
likes better than to be asked to define her own feelings, Joyce,
however, disappoints him.
"I don't know. Sitting up so late I suppose."
"Look here!" says he, in a voice so full of earnest emotion that Joyce
involuntarily stares at him; "_I_ know what is the matter with you. You
are fighting against your better nature. You are _trying_ to be
ungenerous. You are trying to believe what you know is not true. Tell
me--_honestly_ mind--are you not forcing yourself to regard me as a
monster of insincerity?"
"You are wrong," says she, slowly. "I am forcing myself, on the
contrary, to believe you a very giant of sincerity."
"And you find that difficult?"
"Yes."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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