"Darkness!" he went on in low accents that thrilled with the memory of
a past feat--"dense, horrible, frightful darkness!--darkness that
palpitated heavily with the labored motion of unseen things!--darkness
that clung and closed about me in masses of clammy, tangible
thickness,--its advancing and resistless weight rolled over me like a
huge waveless ocean--and, absorbed within it, I was drawn
down--down--down toward some hidden, impalpable but All Supreme Agony,
the dull unceasing throbs of which I felt, yet could not name. 'O GOD!'
I cried aloud, abandoning myself to wild despair, 'O GOD! WHERE ARE
THOU?' Then I heard a great rushing sound as of a strong wind beaten
through with wings, and a Voice, grand and sweet as a golden trumpet
blown suddenly in the silence of night, answered: 'HERE! ... AND
EVERYWHERE!' With that, a slanting stream of opaline radiance cleft the
gloom with the sweep of a sword-blade, and I was caught up quickly ...
I know not how ... for I saw nothing!"
Again he pushed and looked wistfully at Heliobas, who in turn regarded
him with gentle steadfastness.
"It was wonderful--terrible!" ... he continued slowly--"yet beautiful!
... that Invisible Strength that rescued, surrounded, and uplifted me;
and--" here he hesitated, and a faint flush colored his cheeks and
stole up to the roots of his clustering hair--"dream or no dream, I
feel I cannot now altogether reject the idea of an existing Divinity.
In brief ... I believe in God!"
"Why?" asked Heliobas quietly.
Alwyn met his gaze frankly and with a soft brightening of his handsome
features.
"I cannot give you any logical reasons," he said. "Moreover, logical
reasoning would not now affect me in a matter which seems to me more
full of conviction than any logic. I believe, ... simply because I
believe!"
Heliobas smiled--a very warm and kindly smile--but said nothing, and
Alwyn resumed his narrative.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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