(A by-law of the New York Board of Education says: "No married woman shall be appointed to any teaching or supervising position in the New York public schools unless her husband is mentally or physically incapacitated to earn a living or has deserted her for a period of not less than one year.") CHARACTERS _Board of Education_. _Three Would-Be Teachers_. _Chorus by Board_: Now please don't waste Your time and ours By pleas all based On mental powers. She seems to us The proper stuff Who has a hus- Band bad enough. All other pleas appear to us Excessively superfluous. _1st Teacher_: My husband is not really bad---- _Board_: How very sad, how very sad! _1st Teacher_: He's good, but hear my one excuse---- _Board_: Oh, what's the use, oh, what's the use? _1st Teacher_: Last winter in a railroad wreck He lost an arm and broke his neck. He's doomed, but lingers day by day. _Board_: Her husband's doomed! Hurray! hurray! _2nd Teacher_: My husband's kind and healthy, too---- _Board_: Why, then, of course, you will not do. _2nd Teacher_: Just hear me out. You'll find you're wrong. It's true his body's good and strong; But, ah, his wits are all astray. _Board_: Her husband's mad. Hip, hip, hurray! _3rd Teacher_: My husband's wise and well--the creature! _Board_: Then you can never be a teacher. _3rd Teacher_: Wait. For I led him such a life He could not stand me as a wife; Last Michaelmas, he ran away. _Board_: Her husband hates her, Hip, hurray! _Chorus by Board_: Now we have found Without a doubt, By process sound And well thought out, Each candidate Is fit in truth To educate The mind of youth. No teacher need apply to us Whose married life's harmonious. (_Curtain_.) The Unconscious Suffragists "They who have no voice nor vote in the electing of representatives do not enjoy liberty, but are absolutely enslaved to those who have votes."--Benjamin Franklin. "No such phrase as virtual representation was ever known in law or constitution."--James Otis. "But these great cities, says my honorable friend, are virtually, though not directly represented. Are not the wishes of Manchester, he asks, as much consulted as those of any other town which sends members to Parliament? Now, sir, I do not understand how a power which is salutary when exercised virtually can be noxious when exercised directly. If the wishes of Manchester have as much weight with us as they would have under a system which gives representatives to Manchester, how can there be any danger in giving representatives to Manchester?"--Lord Macaulay's Speech on the Reform Bill.