And when her caller leaves, her mind springs with a snap to fasten the time-worn farewell: “_Now you have found the way, do come often_!” And this piece of ancient cynicism has run through a thousand changes: “_Of course if you leave your umbrella at home it’s sure to rain!_” But comment, to the Sulphite, is unnecessary. These remarks would all be in his Index Epurgatorius, if one were necessary. Except in jest it would never even occur to him to use any of the following remarks: * * * * * I. “_I don’t know much about Art, but I know what I like._” II. “_My mother is seventy years old, but she doesn’t look a day over fifty._” III. “_That dog understands every word I say._” IV. “_You’ll feel differently about these things when you’re married!_” V. “_It isn’t money, it’s the PRINCIPLE of the thing I object to._” VI. “_Why aren’t there any good stories in the magazines, nowadays?_” VII. “_I’m afraid I’m not educated up to Japanese prints._” VIII. “_The Japanese are such an interesting little people!_” IX. “_No, I don’t play chess. I haven’t got that kind of a brain_.” X. “_No, I never intend to be married_.” XI. “_I thought I loved him at the time, but of course it wasn’t really love_.” XII. “_Funny how some people can never learn to spell_!” XIII. “_If you’d only come yesterday, this room was in perfect order_.” XIV. “_I don’t care for money--it’s what I can do with it_.” XV. “_I really oughtn’t to tell this, but I know you understand_.” XVI. “_Why, I know you better than you know yourself_!” XVII. “_Now, this thing really happened_!” XVIII. “_It’s a great compliment to have a child fond of you_.” XIX. “_The Salvation Army reaches a class of people that churches never do_.” XX. “_It’s bad enough to see a man drunk--but, oh! a woman_!” XXI. “_It’s a mistake for a woman to marry a man younger than herself--women age so much faster than men. Think what she’ll be, when he’s fifty!_” XXII. “_Of course if you happen to want a policeman, there’s never one within miles of you._” XXIII. “_It isn’t so much the heat (or the cold), as the humidity in the air._” XXIV. “_This tipping system is terrible, but what can one do about it?_” XXV. “_I don’t know what we ever did without the telephone!_” XXVI. “_After I’ve shampooed my hair I can’t do a thing with it_!” XXVII. “_I never read serials_.” XXVIII. “_No, let me pay! I’ve got to change this bill anyway_.” XXIX. “_You’re a sight for sore eyes_!” XXX. “_Come up and see us any time. You’ll have to take pot-luck, but you’re always welcome_.” XXXI. “_There are as many chances to get rich in real estate as there ever were--if you only knew where to find them_.” XXXII. “_I’d rather have a good horse than all the automobiles made._” XXXIII. “_The price of autos is bound to come down sooner or later, and then you won’t see horses except in menageries._” XXXIV.