Are You a Bromide?: The Sulphitic Theory Expounded and Exemplified According to the Most Recent Researches into the Psychology of Boredom, Including Many Well-Known Bromidioms Now in UseBurgess, Gelett
Science
Are You a Bromide?: The Sulphitic Theory Expounded and Exemplified According to the Most Recent Researches into the Psychology of Boredom, Including Many Well-Known Bromidioms Now in Use
Burgess, Gelett
American wit and humor
But if, along with these contrasts, we take, for example, Lewis Carroll
as opposed to Dr. Johnson, we are brought up against an extraordinary
inconsistency. It is, however, only an apparent paradox--beneath it
lies a vital principle. Dr. Johnson was, himself, a Sulphite of the
Sulphites, but how intensely bromidic were his writings! One yawns to
think of them. As for Lewis Carroll, in his classic nonsense, so
sulphitic as often to be accused by Bromides of having a secret
meaning, his private life was that of a Bromide. Read his biography and
learn the terrors of his formal, set entertainments to the little girls
whom he patronized! They knew what to expect of him, and he never,
however agreeably, disappointed them. No, unfortunately a Sulphite does
not always produce sulphitic art. How many writers we know who are more
interesting than their work! How many who are infinitely less so! Your
professional humorist is usually a dull, melancholy fellow in his
private life--and a clergyman may preach infant damnation and be a
merry father at home.
* * * * *
Such considerations point inevitably to the truth that our theory
depends essentially not upon action or talk, but upon the quality and
rationale of thought. It is a question of Potentiality, rather than of
Dynamics. It is the process of reasoning which concerns us, not its
translation into conduct. A man may be a devoted supporter of Mrs.
Grundy and yet be a Sulphite, if he has, in his own mind, reached an
original conclusion that society needs her safeguards. He may be the
wildest-eyed of Anarchists and yet bromidic, if he has accepted
another’s reasons and swallowed the propaganda whole.
It will be doubtless through a misconception of this principle that the
first schism in the Sulphitic Theory arises. Already the cult has
become so important that a newer heretic sect threatens it. These
protestants cannot believe that there is a definite line to be drawn
between Sulphites and Bromides, and hold that one may partake of a dual
nature. All such logic is fatuous, and founded upon a misconception of
the Theory.
* * * * *
There is, however, a subtlety which has perhaps had something to do
with confusing the neophyte. It is this: Sulphitism and Bromidism are,
symbolically, the two halves of a circle, and their extremes meet. One
may be so extremely bromidic that one becomes, at a leap, sulphitic,
and _vice versa_. This may be easily illustrated.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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