The studio was dark, only the large window showed a dim, gray
square. She lit the lamp, and then, suddenly, in the recklessness of
her desperation, the fire. There were eight pieces of wood and six
briquettes in the box. She would burn them all. She would burn the
bed and the chairs, but she would be warm to-night. To-morrow was
twelve hours off.
The light showed the emptiness of the chill, barn-like room. The
walls alone were furnished, decorated with a series of life-class
studies, some made twenty years before, when she had been the star
of one of the Julians. Now these spirited delineations of nakedness,
unlovely and unabashed, offered silent testimony to the brilliant
promise of Celia Reardon’s youth. To-night she only thought of the
fire and cowered over it--a little, pale shadow of a woman, near
upon middle age.
For hours she sat watching the flames dart up through the holes in
the briquettes. The warmth consoled her. She grew dreamy and
retrospective. Her thoughts went slipping back from point to point,
in the glamourous past, when she had been hung in the Salon, and
sold her pictures, and was an artist people spoke of who would some
day “arrive.” From those radiant days of youth and hope, things had
been gradually declining to this--one by one stand-bys failing and
her old patrons leaving, rich Americans who ordered copies growing
scarcer and scarcer. Finally no money to hire models, bad food, and,
in consequence, declining health, poor work that failed to find a
market; pride coming to her aid and withdrawing her from the help of
friends; furtive visits to the Mont de Piete, and more dreaded ones
to the dealers on the Rue Bonaparte; and to-night the end of all
things.
It was late when she slept. Waking in the gray dawn she found
herself lying cramped and cold in front of the white ashes of the
fire, and crept shivering to bed. There she slept on till after
midday. She felt weak and stupid when she rose, and her dressing
took a long time. She began to realize that her state was nearly as
bad physically as it was financially.
It was better to walk about the streets till the hour for tea than
to freeze in the studio. She put on her hat and jacket, relics of
better days to which she desperately clung, and went forth. In the
night the thermometer had fallen and the rain had turned to snow.
She buried her chin in her collar and tried to walk briskly. She
thought she would go to the Louvre, which was warm, and sit there
till four, when she could come back to the Girls’ Club. Both walks
were long, but the hour’s rest at the Louvre would strengthen her,
and there was still the faint possibility of meeting some one she
knew who would order a copy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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