But very soon they got their second wind. Their legs still felt that
they might break off at hip or knee, but this had gradually become only
an interesting sensation, for their bodies as units began to discount
the thousands of separate fatigue messages sent by separate nerves and
had grown beautifully light. The girls were moving ahead now—on, on, on,
with no need to whip up their wills. If they should learn that they must
walk on like this until night they would not rebel. And they began
talking as freely as without effort they walked.
“I know what you mean about uncoiling it—all that last night’s stuff,”
Anne exclaimed. “Every step uncoils me. But I feel, Ariel, as if my feet
must leave a trail of slimy sticky awfulness behind me in the snow. Only
why should you need to uncoil, Ariel? You weren’t going to slide down
into the dark water to slip out under the ice. _You_ hadn’t separated
from yourself.”
“No. But you’d always horrified me a little. I felt that you were
trapped in some dangerous, dreadful way, when I first saw you. And last
night it all got real for me. It’s more than as if you’d told me, Anne.
It’s as if I’d been in your trap with you and had wanted to die too—and
all. I can’t explain myself. But it’s all uncoiling now, every step we
take, and the snow is blotting it up. Don’t you feel it?”
“Life is strange, isn’t it!” Anne observed, with as fresh a wonder as
though the idea itself were fresh. “Do you know, I hardly was aware of
_you_ at all during vacation except toward the last, when I hated you
so. Before that I only thought of you in your relation with Hugh. I
thought it a pity you weren’t colorful enough to make some sort of a
stab at cutting Joan out with him. Not colorful! Stupid, even! Imagine!
And now I know that you’re the best thing in the Weyman family, except,
possibly, Grandam. But you and Grandam might be sisters. No, not
family—race! You are beings of the same race. That’s it. The angel
race.”
“Oh, hush! How idiotic!” Ariel wasn’t flattered. She was humiliated.
“Ariel! Have you ever been in love?”
“Yes. As much as you....”
“As much? But not like me, I know. You’ve never been lost. You haven’t
been what Prescott said I was—eaten into by love as though love was a
cancer and a destruction. He said that the people who let it take them
like that were disgusting slaves, and not worth anybody’s loving. He was
right. My love was cancerous, not beautiful. You know, yourself. You saw
it without understanding it and you say it horrified you. Then no wonder
Prescott was put off by it. But it’s not like that with you. I can sense
things as well as you can, you see! You’ve stayed yourself, kept the
integrity of your personality. And your pride. I know it. You’re pure,
clear like a diamond. And by ‘pure’ I mean your will is untouched.
Unsmirched. Diamond-hard and diamond-clean. Aren’t I right?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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