Ariel stood at her window, that first morning at Wild Acres, for some
time before dressing, and looked out into the black branches of the
snow-floored woods. The trees pressed up to the window panes. So Wild
Acres was really wild. She was curious to look from all the windows and
to explore the big, rambling house from top to bottom. After nine hours
of dreamless sleep, her body warm between sheets and light blankets, her
face deliciously cool in the cold, woodsy air of the little guest room,
Ariel had waked with a sense of happiness. The carpet of snow in the
woods below her was a thin veil, ever so thin, drawn over the
spring-to-come: green leaves, moss, butterflies, birds, hot sunshine,
cool shade and myriads and myriads of _violets_. Hugh had promised her
violets. At any moment the veil might tremble, blow to one side, and
that world of wings and scent and color rise to the window and envelop
her with joy. But meanwhile the white, clear-smelling snow (she had seen
snow before in imagination, as she had told Hugh, but she had never
smelled it), the ebony black of bare tree boles, roots and limbs and
twigs, were all just pictures on a veil over Spring’s face. Ariel was
glad she had come to Wild Acres before the veil blew off. She was so
happy, standing there at the window, still in her nightgown, that she
was frightened of it. It was like too piercingly beautiful a note in
music.
She felt besieged by happiness from every side. Involuntarily she looked
into the actualities of her life for escape. There were avenues enough
there, leading back into loneliness, self-distrusts and that wide, wide
avenue ending at a grave and her grief. But strangely, they closed and
shut her out when she would have entered them. The black trees, the
clear-smelling snow, and all those hidden wings and joys of spring were
opening to her, and grief was shut.
As she bathed and dressed, she remembered with wonder the mood in which
she had gone to bed. She had been lonely and dazed. Too heartsick even
to cry, she had said her prayers lying on her face in bed, without
caring enough to kneel. And then, her mind blunted by misery, she had
fallen on sleep,—as Samurai in Japanese prints fall on their swords.
She brushed at her hair until it glimmered to silver and every curl had
a separate life. She knew that her hair was lovely. Her father had never
tired of praising it and painting it. Ash-colored in some lights, it was
silvery in others, palest gold in others. Sometimes it seemed the
absorption of light itself. And it curled in close, soft curls at her
neck. That blond hair, and her grace of movement, were her claims to
beauty. But at the minute she was seeing her narrow green eyes in the
mirror, and her thin, pale mouth with its pointed corners. She knew that
the Weymans must think her plain, but to-day she would not be bothered
even to care.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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