Arminell: A Social Romance, Vol. 2Baring-Gould, S. (Sabine)
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Arminell: A Social Romance, Vol. 2
Baring-Gould, S. (Sabine)
English fiction -- 19th century
“Mamma, where is papa? I want to go with him.”
“He has had to leave, dear, for a few minutes; he will return in perhaps
half an hour.”
“But I can run after him. Where is he?”
“You cannot follow him, Giles, he is walking fast, and is about
something that your presence would disturb. Are there no little boys
here for you to play with? Yes, there are the two Fountaynes. I invited
them expressly.”
“I do not want to play. I had rather walk with papa.”
“But he would wish you to take the little boys and show them your pony.
We cannot, my dear, always do what we like. We must bestir ourselves to
make our guests happy.”
“Very well, mamma, I will go with the Fountaynes as papa wishes it.”
He let go her hand, and went off. She looked affectionately after the
child for a moment, and then resumed her duties as hostess, with an
anxious heart but an untroubled brow.
From the first moment that our intelligence dawns, the first lessons
impressed on us, lessons never pretermitted, from which no holiday gives
release, relentlessly and systematically enforced, are those of
self-suppression. We are not allowed as children even to express our
opinions decidedly, to hate heartily any person or anything. We are
required, for instance, to say nothing more forcible than—we are not
devoted to our governess, and not partial to bread-and-butter pudding.
We are instructed either to keep silence altogether relative to our
feelings, which is best of all, a counsel of perfection; or if we cannot
do that, to give utterance to them in an inoffensive and unobjectionable
manner. We are taught to speak of a stupid person as amiable, and of a
disagreeable person as well-intentioned. Our faces are not suffered to
express what our tongues are not permitted to speak, consequently the
facial muscles are brought into as complete control as the tongue.
Consequently also when we are thoroughly schooled, we wear masks
perpetually and always go about with gloved tongues. At first, in the
nursery and in the schoolroom, there are kicks and sulks, when the mask
and the glove are fitted on, and yet, in time, we become so habituated
to them that we are incapable of conceiving of life as endurable without
the wearing of them.
I know that I have become so accustomed to a ring on my little finger,
that if perchance I have forgotten it, and gone into society, I have
blushed to the roots of my hair, and stammered and been distracted,
thinking myself insufficiently clothed, simply because I had left my
ring on the washhand-stand. And it is the same with our masks and
gloves, we grow to like them, to be uncomfortable without them, to be
afraid to show our faces or move our tongues when unprotected by mask
and glove.
A circus horse becomes so used to the bearing rein that even when he is
allowed to gallop without one, he runs with arched neck.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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