"I know that you have a charming collection of paintings. Why do you not
give us a supper some evening and invite some of our friends, so that we
can all admire your marvels?"
"With the greatest pleasure," I replied. "But it must be understood that
I will not invite any of the husbands; they spoil everything, like a man
in a ballet."
"Quite the contrary," she said to me, "it will be very entertaining, for
in many liaisons there is as much tiresome stupidity and jealousy as in
conjugal life. Many husbands are very amiable, and the only thing
against them is that they are husbands." After having discussed the
question for some time, we agreed to invite a reasonable proportion of
both husbands and lovers.
It was getting late. Marguerite begged her cousin, Don Luiz, to call the
carriage. While she was waiting for it, I threw her cloak over her
beautiful shoulders, and said, in a low voice, "At eleven o'clock,
to-morrow?"
She blushed deeply, and softly pressed my hand when I gave her the fan.
I understood what it meant.
Don Luiz offered his arm, and they went away.
Returning home, I have just written the details of this day, which was
apparently so devoid of interest and yet has been filled with charming
episodes. Yes, a series of charming little episodes. Nothing in
themselves, but the making of a memorable day when linked together. It
is, then, a bouquet composed of a thousand happy souvenirs as
intoxicating as the perfume of a thousand sweet-smelling flowers.
IV
APRIL, 18--.
I went to her house at three o'clock.
I found her as tender and affectionate as ever, but serious, pensive,
and almost sad.
There was no regret or reproachfulness in this sadness; it was a calm,
melancholy mood, a sweet reverie. All her thoughts were elevated and
serious.
I was amazed at this change in her.
In the souls of certain women there are inexhaustible treasures of
delicacy.
With them everything is purified by sacrifice and idealised by the
religious ardour of their love, by a sentiment of sacred duty that they
find in loving, and a melancholy contemplation in which all thought of
the future overwhelms them.
With us the horizon is much more restricted. When once our passion and
our vanity are satisfied by possession, nothing can be more positive,
more decided, than our sensations. The best of us are sometimes tender
and grateful, but most of us are sated and sulky. With some women,
however, it is just the opposite; they are happy and sad by turns,
generally more sad than happy, for melancholy predominates in their
nature, and what they feel is inexpressible. It is both joy and despair,
regret and hope, burning shame and purest love, terrible remorse, and
the intense desire to surrender herself once more.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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