I remained a long time with Marguerite. Our conversation was
delightfully intimate. She asked me about my family, about my father.
For awhile I was very much saddened by such unaccustomed thoughts. I
confessed everything to her, my ingratitude and indifference to his
memory.
Then Marguerite could not restrain her tears, and said to me: "You
believe, though, in the eternal duration of other affections, since you
dare to ask for my love."
I was so intensely happy that I succeeded in reassuring her as to the
future, and when her melancholy mood had passed she spoke with ineffable
and almost maternal tenderness of my projects, of her annoyance at
seeing me lead such a barren and idle life, whose uselessness she
believed to be the source of all my unhappiness. I replied that at the
present hour her reproaches were without foundation, and that she should
no longer think of me as idle or unhappy, for, as I was to spend my time
in worshipping her, I would be the happiest and best occupied of men.
And as to all this I added a thousand lively speeches, Marguerite took
my hand, and said, with an inexpressible look of goodness, love, and
kind reproach in her lovely eyes, which were filled with tears: "You are
very gay, Arthur!"
"That is because I am so happy, so supremely happy."
"It is strange," said she. "I, too, am happy, completely happy. And yet
you see I am weeping. I have to weep."
Then we talked of signs and omens, and, finally, of divination and
fortune-tellers. As we were wont to do, we discussed the worn out theme,
Is there such a thing as foretelling the future? We ended by coming to
the decision that to-morrow we would meet at Mlle. Lenormand's in the
Rue de Tournon, and have our fortunes told.
I left Marguerite's at half-past six. She forbade me to come again in
the evening, as she said she wished to spend it in writing letters.
When I was alone, and only influenced by my own thoughts, I was more
than ever surprised at the great difference between the impressions of
men and those of women.
After such a morning of sensual intoxication, Marguerite needed silence,
reverie, and solitude, while I felt a positive want of noise,
excitement, and animation. Though intense, my happiness was exuberant. I
felt gay, talkative, amiable, perfectly contented with everything. In
such a mood the gay world, with all its joy and splendour, was the only
place to display my felicity.
Before going to one or two soirées, I went to the theatre to hear the
second act of "Othello." I saw Madame de V---- alone in her box. She
looked, as she always does, charming and exquisitely dressed.
There is nothing prettier ever seen than a beautiful, smiling woman's
face, standing out in brilliant light, against the dark background of an
opera box.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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