When the tediousness of navigation had given rise to a certain degree of
intimacy between me and the officers of the Russian frigate, our
conversation often introduced the name of Madame de Fersen, and I was
surprised at the profound respect with which they always spoke of her.
Calumny, they said, had never attacked her, be it in Russia,
Constantinople, or at the different courts where she had resided.
A reputation of unimpeachable purity has, I believe, an irresistible
charm, especially when found in a young, beautiful, and intellectual
woman, of an exalted position; for she must be endowed with a powerful
moral strength, to disarm envy, or to blunt its darts, and inspire, as
did Madame de Fersen, a general sentiment of benevolence and respect.
In comparing my love for Madame de Pënâfiel to what I felt for Madame
de Fersen, I appreciated the lofty and alluring charm of this seduction.
Marguerite had, doubtless, been shamefully maligned,--of this I had
received indisputable proofs; but, however false may be the rumours that
attack the woman you love, they will ever produce a feeling of
resentment.
Admitting, even, that you succeed in convincing yourself of the
falsehood of the rumour, you then accuse the woman who is its victim of
not possessing the wit to assert her virtue.
Hélène's life had been pure, and yet she had been attacked. My
attentions to her had alone occasioned those odious rumours, and yet, in
my unjust frenzy, I accused her of not having known how to hold herself
above suspicion.
Apart from the grace, the beauty, and intellect of Madame de Fersen,
what contributed most to the feeling of adoration in me was, I repeat
it, her reputation for exalted and calm virtue.
Most men, when they persist in combating the resistance of a woman
seriously attached to her duties, are only led on by the love of
contention, by the anticipation of a proud victory!
These were not the sentiments that made me persist in my love for Madame
de Fersen. It was an unlimited reliance on the purity of her heart, in
the nobility of her character; it was the certainty of loving her with
all the chaste delights of the soul, without fear of being deceived by
feigned severity or false prudery.
Moreover, I had given myself up to such coarse materialism during my
stay at Khios, that I had an inexpressible desire to abandon myself to
the exquisite refinement of a pure and lofty sentiment.
Our crossing, delayed by equinoctial winds, and followed by a long
quarantine at the Toulon lazaretto, lasted six weeks.
I did not think I had made any progress in the affections of Madame de
Fersen, for her manner towards me had become more and more unconstrained
and friendly. She had frankly confessed her pleasure at what she was
pleased to call my witty discourse, and expressed a hope that during her
stay in Paris we should renew as frequently as possible "our
conversations of the saloon."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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