I suppose all lovers are happy: but it does not seem possible that
other lovers can ever have had such unmitigated happiness as ours
was—happiness so keen as almost to be a pain. The light of love
that burst suddenly into our lives, and filled each cranny full to
overflowing, was so pure and bright as almost to blind us. The happiness
was all the keener, the light all the brighter, because of the hardship
and the monotony of our daily tasks. If we had been rich, if we had had
leisure and friends and many resources for diversion, then most likely
our delight in each other would not have been so great. But as we
were—poor, hard worked, and alone in the world—we found all the
happiness we had, in ourselves, in communing together; and happiness
concentrated, was proportionately more intense. The few hours in the
week which we were permitted to spend side by side glittered like
diamonds against the dull background of the rest. And we improved them
to the full. We called upon each fleeting moment to stay and perpetuate
itself; and we could not understand how Faust had had to wait so many
years before he could do the same. The season was divine, clear skies
and balmy weather day after day, and the Park being easily accessible,
we could imagine ourselves among the green fields of the country
whenever the fancy seized us. I believe that as a matter of fact the
turf of the common was sadly parched and brown; but we were not critical
so long as we could wander over it hand in hand. Then, our characters
were perfectly accorded; their unison was faultless. Each called for the
other, needed the other, as the dominant chord calls for and needs its
tonic. We had not a hope, a fear, an ambition, an aspiration, but it was
shared equally between us. Our art was a mutual passion which we pursued
together. When Veronika was seated at the piano and I stood at her side
with my violin at my shoulder, our cup of contentment was full to the
brim. Nothing more was wanting. I remember, one evening, in the middle
of a phrase, her fingers faltered and she wheeled around and lifted her
eyes upon my face.—“What is the matter, darling?” I asked.—“I
only want to look at you to realize that it isn’t a dream,” she
answered.—And yet she is dead.
June and half July had wound away; in little more than a fortnight our
wedding would be celebrated. The night was sultry, and she and I sat
together by an open window. Her uncle was absent: an idea had come to
him just before dinner, she explained, and according to his custom he
had gone out to walk the streets until he had mastered it. We were by no
means sorry to be alone. We had plenty to talk about; but even without
talking it was marvelously pleasant to sit together and think the happy
thoughts that filled our minds and listen to the subdued sounds of human
life that came in by the window.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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