with a mighty burst of sound, ‘And there was LIGHT?’ Do you remember
how one’s heart leaps and seems to grow big in one’s breast? It
was like that when you came to me. I used to wonder why I had ever felt
unhappy or discontented. The mere prospect of seeing you at the week’s
end made my heart sing from morning to night. It gave a motive, an
object, to my life—made me feel that I was working to a purpose, that
I should have my reward. I had been growing hard and indifferent, even
indifferent to music. But now I began to love my music more than ever:
and no matter how tired I might be, when I had a moment of leisure I
would sit down and practice so as to be able to play well for you. Music
seemed to express all the unutterable feeling that you inspired me with.
One day I had sung the Ave Maria of Cherubini to you, and you said,
‘It is so religious—it expresses precisely the emotions one
experiences in a church.’ But for me it expressed rather the emotions
a woman has when she is in the presence of the man she loves. All the
time I had no idea that you would ever feel in the same way toward
me.”
My kisses silenced her. Afterward she sang from Pergolese’s Stabat
Mater, and played a medley of bits from Chopin: until, looking at my
watch, I saw it was nearing midnight. Time for me to go away. But her
uncle had not yet come home. I did not like to leave her alone. I said
so.
“Oh, that is nothing,” she explained. “It always happens when he
has one of his ideas. Very likely he won’t come in till morning. I am
quite accustomed to it, and not a bit afraid.”
“In that event,” I thought, “I certainly ought to go. It may
embarrass her, my staying so late; and besides, she needs the sleep.”
I started to say good-by. Our parting was hard. Again and again, as
I reached the door, I turned back and began anew. But at last I found
myself in the street. I looked up at the parlor window, and remained on
the curbstone until I saw her close the sash and pull the shade, and the
light being extinguished, knew that she had gone to her bedroom. Then I
set my face toward home.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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