I hummed the first two or three phrases softly to myself, beating time
with my fingers; then drew up to the writing-table and commenced to set
them down. At the outset I had considerable difficulty, was obliged,
so to speak, to spell my way along note by note, and committed several
blunders which I had to go back to and correct. But gradually my path
grew smoother and smoother, until I was no longer conscious of effort;
and at last I became so much absorbed and so much interested by what I
was doing, that my hand sped across the paper like a machine performing
the regular function for which it was contrived. I suppose mental
activity always begets mental exhilaration; and that mental exhilaration
in turn, when allowed to attain too high a pitch, always approaches the
borderland of its antipode, on the principle that extremes meet. At any
rate such was my experience in the present instance. At first, both
mind and fingers were sluggish and moved laboriously. Then mind got into
running order, and fingers lagged behind; then fingers caught up with
mind, and for a while the two kept pace; then, finally, fingers spurted
ahead and it was mind’s turn to acknowledge itself left in the rear.
Mental exhilaration gave place to bewilderment, as I saw that my hand
was forging along faster than my thought could dictate, in apparent
obedience to an independent will of its own—which bewilderment ripened
into thoroughgoing mystification, as the hand dashed forward and
back like a shuttle in a loom, with a velocity that seemed ever to be
increasing. I had precisely the sensation of a man who has started to
run down a hill, and whose legs have acquired such a momentum that
he can not stop them: on and on he must submit to be borne until some
outside obstacle interferes, even though a yawning chasm await him
at the bottom. Toward the end I scarcely saw the paper on which I was
writing; I am sure I saw nothing of the matter that I wrote. I said to
myself, “Of course you will find that all this stuff is incoherent and
meaningless when you get through.” But I waited passively till my hand
should get through of its own accord, I made no endeavor to draw the
rein upon it. Eventually it came to a standstill with a round turn. I
was quite winded. I needed leisure in which to recover my equilibrium.
Merivale—of whose presence I had become oblivious—crossed over and
began gathering the scattered sheets of paper from the table. The sight
of him helped to bring me to myself.
“Well,” I said, “there it is. I don’t suppose you can read it. I
got so excited I hardly knew what I was about.”
“That’s all right,” he answered reassuringly. “I’m much
obliged to you for the trouble you’ve taken. But what,” he added
abruptly, “but what is all this that you have written?”
“Why, what do you fancy? The music, of course, that you asked me
to.”
“No, no; I mean this writing, this text, with which you have wound
up?”
“Writing? Text? What are you driving at?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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