She made friends. She was interested in everything. In her appreciation
and confiding ways Mrs. Low found a degree of satisfaction and intense
pleasure in the reflected happiness from Esther’s life. Glenn
encouraged the tonic of social life for her as something needful to
everybody. Under his own eye, he was willing to let her glimpse at it
in all its phases; the soullessness of it, its petty intrigues and
foibles. The flawlessness of her own mind would itself be a shield. Her
contact with such frivolity would be like that of satin and sandpaper.
With intense interest he watched her career during the season. He was
her severest and most unsparing critic, although he sometimes believed
that it hurt him more than her. Their lives were moving along together
with unconscious accord. There was an undercurrent of deeper sympathy
lying dormant. He was making her a part of his life. He would have
denied it, however, had any man put this truth into words and accused
him. A thousand times he had told himself, reassuringly, that he was
commander still. He reasoned that her art would soon be sufficiently
lofty, sufficiently complete for her to hear any decree that fate might
read to her. New friends, fresh scenes, homage to her art--all these
would help to fill her life. This was a conviction born of his own
philosophy. He fancied he could already perceive a more independent
air; a less frequent turning to him for guidance and protection. This
elusive, half-mysterious charm she had acquired, he misinterpreted. It
was largely due to the different lights that had been thrown upon him.
She had been repeatedly stunned by chance-heard remarks of his
betrothal. When Glenn heard that Esther’s name was to figure
prominently in the most brilliant recitals of the season, there was a
buoyant sweetness in the frank radiance of hope, the eager expectancy
and passionate faith in her ability. She had been tasting some of the
fruition of her toil. Of this he was proud.
The night came. It was a fashionable throng that poured into the
Metropolitan. The fascinating twirl of jewelled lorgnettes and the
flashing movement of the vast array of wealth and beauty made the
two wide, innocent eyes that peered out from behind the curtain,
reel--drunk with the wine of enthusiasm; this little atom who was to
win or lose before this great audience of connoisseurs. Win she must.
No girl could shake off the memory of so public a humiliation. The
sight confused her. She trembled a little and slipped back to her
dressing-room. “I feel as though the judgment day were at hand,” she
said. “My heart is bigger than my whole body.”
“You darling, it was always that.” Mrs. Low gathered her proudly in her
arms, as she spoke.
“Where have you been?” Esther left a warm kiss on her throat. “Up to
the very same thing you were, looking for a particular face, I know.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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